[smart_track_player url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/tiffandjack/003_-_Rules_of_Passion.mp3″ ]Podcast Episode 003 – (7 Easy) Rules of Passion
Passion can feel big and scary and you may wonder if you’ll ever feel it again.
Fear not, there’s hope!
In today’s podcast, Tiff and I share the 7 very easy “rules” of creating a solid passionate foundation. When we talk about this there is nothing holding us back…full disclosure, because we know that our experiences are great teaching tools for what not to do. (For instance, be sure to listen for the silverware story which happened to be our first “fight” after being newly married last week.)
Here’s a quick overview of the 7 Rules:
- Look & Listen
- Touch Me Please
- Do What You Love
- Kiss Me Deep
- Stop the Bullshit
- Just Say It
You’ll want to listen to the whole show to hear each rule explained in depth. We love letting you into the inner sanctum of our lives. Sometimes life can get messy! And we’re not afraid to share.
LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Tiff & Jack
We know that everyone gets stuck now-and-then when it comes to doing things that affect positive change in your intimate relationship.
Everyone finds themselves in old ruts and patterns where your relationship begins to feel a bit, well…stale. The Modern Relationship is a whole new ballgame, all of the “old” rules no longer apply.
Intimate relationship is our specialty and we’re going to make it super simple for you. Here are 7 things that you can do easily, that will instantly spark passion in your relationship.
The only thing required, is that you actually take the time to do it.
1. LOOK & LISTEN
How well do you listen to your SO (significant other) when they’re talking to you? Come on be honest now.
Do you stop what you’re doing, look at them right in the eyeballs, and listen carefully to what they’re saying?
Life gets busy and crazy and it’s very easy to disregard the person talking to you because you have a million other things on your mind. This is no excuse folks, everyone has crap they’re dealing with all the time.
Your SO deserves your full attention when they’re talking to you.
If it’s not a good time for you to chat, be clear on WHEN would be a better time, and stick to your word.
If you want intimacy, passion, and awesome sex w/your SO, you MUST listen when they speak, this is a basic foundational piece to your happy relationship puzzle.
- Don’t try to figure out what to say while they’re talking.
- Don’t interrupt them.
- Don’t get distracted looking at your phone or TV.
Your assignment: When your SO is talking to you, stop what you’re doing STARE into their eyes, and really LISTEN.
2. TOUCH ME PLEASE!!
We live in a culture and country where touching each other is minimal. Go visit Spain, Italy or a myriad of other countries and notice how every person you meet is either kissing you on the cheeks or hugging you and breathing your scent in. Here in America, you’re lucky if you get eye contact.
Let’s break this barrier down, shall we?!
Everyone needs to feel the touch of someone they love and that loves them. It says, “I love you and want you.”
When you walk past your person, reach out and touch them every time they’re within reach.
We’re not saying you have to throw them to the floor and make love every time you see them (well, you can if that’s what you both want), but we are saying it’s extremely beneficial to reach your arm out towards your lover and brush them on the shoulder or kiss them on the cheek as you walk past them.
It’s not hard and it feels good.
When you’re watching TV together at the end of a long day, sit close enough to touch so you can smell their perfume or cologne and reach out and caress their hand or hair.
Touch saves lives. Babies that go without touch can actually die because of it and so can a relationship.
It’s simple! And makes all the difference.
3. DO WHAT YOU LOVE
Are you doing something you love, every single day? Something that opens you up and gives you the opportunity to be more of Who You REALLY Are?
It could be yoga, tai chi, dancing, gardening, going for a run, listening to music that makes you feel alive! Maybe it’s walking the dog, hiking, lifting weights, meditating, writing, reading, etc… just do it.
If you will do something that you feel passionate about each and every day, you’ll be more of yourself and more open to give and receive love. You’ll feel more fulfilled and your heart will be wide open to the world around you.
(If you’re struggling finding something that lights your fire, ask the Universe or your Angels to help you find it or it to find you, and trust us, you will.)
When you’re in conversation with your SO ask them questions about what they’re sharing. This is easy if they’re sharing something that’s deeply interesting to you, you’ll have tons of questions pop up. But when your SO is sharing something more personal and talking about their feelings or thoughts it can be more difficult, but this is where you ask THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.
- Ask the DF (dominant feminine thinker): “How does that make you feel?”
- Ask the DM (dominant masculine thinker): “What do you think about that?”
When you ask this question, you’re sure to learn something new about your person that you didn’t know. And the more you know about each other, the easier it is to say and do things for them that make a huge difference.
For example, because I (Jack) pay attention and want to know Tiff’s likes and dislikes, I know that she does NOT like ice cream (except very occasionally she wants a soft serve twist cone…without the cone of course) so now when I want to bring a treat home for her I will bring caramels, pomegranate seeds (already shelled), or the old standby, a Reese’s Crunchy Big Peanut Butter Cup. All because I listen.
Listening pays off in HUGE ways.
Oh and don’t try to finish their sentences because you THINK you know what they’re going to say (I’ve (Jack) been so guilty of this and can tell you I’m getting better and better at zipping my f—— lip). Rarely will you get it right so just zip the lip and pay attention.
TOP SECRET INFO:
The DF wants to know that they captivate you and that they’re desired. The DM wants to know that they please you and are appreciated for what they do.
5. KISS ME DEEP
We couldn’t EVER write an article about the simple things you can do to make a big difference in your relationship, without bringing up kissing, now can we?!!
Kissing is vital.
When is the last time you kissed your SO in a way that stopped them in their tracks? If it has been longer than 24 hours, REPENT NOW! Go find them right now and kiss them like you mean it, damn it!
When you’re kissing, KISS DEEP and take your time.
Don’t think about bills, or what you need to get done, just kiss… and FEEL it all the way through your body right down to your toes.
6. STOP THE BULLSHIT
Stop telling yourself stories!!! We tell ourselves about what we THINK the other person means when they ask you a question, make a comment, or give you that certain look. The stories we tell ourselves creates conflict faster than a speeding bullet. Wow!
Maybe your SO walks into the room you’re sitting in, watching Outlander (an awesome series about past lives, Scottish men in kilts, and lots of sex) or another show you love, and they give you “the look,” you know “the look” and instantly you jump into defensive mode and get your shorts in a knot because you feel like you’re being judged in some way, only to have your SO then explain that she/he had a question about something wholly unrelated to you doing some wrong. Can you say, “Asshat?”
When we assume we know what the other person is thinking and make up a story about it, we’ll always get into trouble, and have to deal with a new conflict. No thank you I would rather not.
Stop the story telling, plain and simple.
This is where asking questions is vital to your happy relationshipping.
7. JUST SAY IT
No we’re not talking about telling your SO every single thing they do that pisses you off, we’re talking about sharing the things you LOVE about your SO. Oftentimes we think in our mind how sexy we find our SO, or how good they smell or how much we appreciate the fact that they scraped the snow off our car and warmed it up for us before leaving for work. Instead of keeping this thought in your mind only, open your sexy mouth, and let it out. Speak it to your ONE.
Kind words of love and appreciation go a very LONG way.
I know that for me (the DM) when Tiff says to me how much she appreciates the fact that I bring her treats, or that I have thrown a load of laundry in or getting the bills paid, it makes me want to be better and do more.
The DM loves to know that what they’re doing is making a positive difference in the life of their DF.
And the DF needs to know how sexy you find them. Does the way they smell just turn you on? And make you want to eat them for dinner?? When you look at your DF and the clothes they’re wearing or the way they’ve done their makeup or hair revs your engine, open your mouth and tell them. The DF wants to know they slay you, that they’re captivating and have your attention.
It’s just so simple.
Say the positive things you think about each other TO each other!
Here’s a quick recap…
- LOOK & LISTEN
- TOUCH ME PLEASE
- DO WHAT YOU LOVE
- KISS ME DEEP
- STOP THE BULLSHIT
- JUST SAY IT
There you have it! Now go be amazing!!!
Sending you every good thing.
Tiff & Jack
P.S. We’re delighted to share some of the juicy insider secrets about our “modern” relationship. We’ll also help you understand why it’s critical for you to know if you’re more masculine thinking or more feminine thinking and why having one of each is the only way to have wild passion in your relationship. CLICK THE YELLOW BOX FOR YOUR FREE GIFT…