Right now in this very moment, pause and ask yourself, “is my heart wide open, or is it closed off?”
I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re not as open as you’d like to be.
Being vulnerable and “Loving Wide Open” hasn’t always been my cup of tea either. In fact, there’ve been times in my life when I’ve prided myself on how kind I am, unless someone treats me poorly.
I’ve prided myself on being able to defend my stand and speak from a place of strength and fierceness as to not allow anyone to ever hurt me.
What I was really saying is, “You can’t hurt me because I won’t let you into my heart space.” In fact, I would close it up as tight as a drum.
Living much of my life with a closed heart, afraid of the next hurt, plum tuckered me out.
As a DF (dominant feminine) our prime directive is to love and be loved.
To not allow love, is to deny the very essence of who we are, which makes it impossible to live as our authentic selves.
There are a couple of reasons why I felt the need to live in a defensive, ready-to-fight stance.
One of which was being raised in a family of very strong women that had a belief system that people will hurt you or use you, most especially men, if you let them.
And second, being the recipient of different kinds of abuse in my life, left me guarded and on high alert for any signs of danger.
Early on I learned to live “Heart Closed.”
When someone treated me poorly (or even showed signs that they MIGHT) I was ready to defend my point and to brush them off easily, because I never really let them in.
What I didn’t realize is that by living “Heart Closed” I was robbing myself of love connections that would feel amazing and honoring my beauty as a being of love on a deeper level.
I was also wearing myself out waiting for the next uncomfortable situation. (Can you say living a life of prevention? Ugh!!)
As long as things were on my terms I felt safe, which meant heart closure.
Now I choose to “Love WIDE Open.”
But to do that I had to get real with myself and own how I really felt about things.
It seemed nearly impossible to admit that I wanted to have deeper relationships and love people openly.
It felt scary to admit that I needed Jack’s help and guidance.
I couldn’t imagine ever allowing anyone to see me cry or have hurt feelings.
If I allowed any of that they could kick me while I was down.
The thought of not defending myself, fighting back, or stating my strong opinion made me fear that I would look and feel weak, and therefore be defenseless and open to no-less-than-profound hurts.
But much to my beautiful surprise I’ve found the most delicious peace and joy as I allow my heart to “Love Wide Open.”
I called on my courage to do something different, to feel something new, to allow myself to just be.
The greatest secret I’ve ever learned is that I have nothing to defend, and love disarms hate.
I’m a being of love and it’s as simple as that.
If someone is unkind to me, misunderstands me, or doesn’t agree with me its OKAY. That’s their story.
If I’m in an uncomfortable situation I have a voice and a choice and I can simply walk away.
Putting the fight down has been the best choice of my life.
Allowing my emotions to move through me and honoring the love that I am has empowered me and freed me in my authenticity.
Accepting that I need help and support from others has been a gift and affords me to love more.
Sharing my personality and feelings brings more laughter and connection with others into my experience, and it’s the very fuel that gives me zest and verve to live a life of happiness and anticipation!
For me it’s simple… I choose to “Love Wide Open” because, LOVE just feels so good.
What makes it easier for you to live with a heart wide open?
And on the other hand, what makes it feel like you can’t?