10 Tips to Enliven YOU…in Relationship!

10 Tips to Enliven YOU…in Relationship!

Do you ever feel like you’d give anything to just feel better?

Need a little enlivening bout now??

No worries, here are 10 fast and fun tips to get you there!

And as a delicious side note…your relationship will shine!!

Here they are, as you do these things they will release the “happy” hormones to enliven you . . .

Dominant Feminine
Enliven those yummy feelings to a state of bliss!
  1. Hug
  2. Be affectionate
  3. Eye contact
  4. Time on facebook or twitter
  5. Crying
  6. Walking
  7. Singing
  8. Gift giving
  9. Orgasm
  10. Meditation

Dominant Masculine
Enliven those powerful thoughts to create success!
  1. High intensity exercise
  2. Strength training
  3. Lose weight
  4. Cut out sugar
  5. Zinc
  6. Optimizing Vitamin D levels (out in the sunshine preferably)
  7. Reducing stress
  8. Eat healthy fats
  9. Laughing hard
  10. Shootin the shit with your buds


What’s your favorite thing to do on the list that matches you best? C’mon, don’t be shy…share!

Now I’m going to go take my Zinc with a shot of tequila for good measure! 😉

Love love love you!



Here I am, do you want me?

Here I am, do you want me?

Each time I write an article or a facebook post, I’m putting myself out there knowing my words may look funny or be misspelled because I have dyslexia.

It’s possible that my writing might be less than what I want and this makes me feel vulnerable.

In fact today’s message is about being vulnerable and why it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself and our SO (significant other).

Being vulnerable means you’re heart is open and you’re acting without defense. It means that you’re willing to put yourself out there warts and all, and to be seen no matter who the haters are.

This may sound pretty scary but the truth is, when someone, especially your SO (significant other), has the opportunity to see the real you… connection and joy are your possibilities.

Do you feel safe?

Our prime directive is to feel safe. And our biggest fear is not being wanted and ending up alone.

When you’re trying to keep yourself safe, things can feel pretty messed up.

Here are a couple of the problem areas:

  1. Living guarded . . . This is where you don’t trust that you’re safe and you keep your heart closed, while judging the behavior of your SO.
  2. Living inauthentic . . . This is where you don’t do the things you that you want to do, or have a negotiating conversation, because you’re afraid your SO won’t want who you are, or that you’re not captivating enough.

If you choose to live this way you may feel like you’re protecting yourself but what you’re actually doing is robbing yourself of joy and deep connection.

The soul is looking for connection, joy, fun, happiness, pleasure, fulfillment, success, and the list goes on. These things are only found in a state of vulnerability.

Being vulnerable and opening your heart (over and over again) is the only way to experience deep intimacy with your person.

Where are the places in your life where you struggle to be vulnerable?

Did you know that people want to know who you are and would love to hear what you say?

Your assignment:

  • For the next 7 days – I want you to share 1 thing about yourself each day with your SO or someone else that matters to you.
  • My suggestion is to share it with someone that you know listens and can be present with you as you share.

This homework is your ticket to living more open.

Feeling open is the first step to living vulnerable.

Here’s to JOY!

In fact I would love to have you share something with all of us right now that others may not know about you…go ahead, there’s a space right down below for your precious words.

Come on in, the water’s fine.

Loves and Kisses,

Tiff (the DF)

Mom knows best!

Mom knows best!

I love watching Tiff (DF/dominant feminine).

Everything she does is magic! (Can you hear “The Police” singing their hearts out??)

We’ve been very very busy that last couple of months, but this past 3 days has been exponentially CRAZY…to say the least.

Running your own business, coaching, speaking, having adult kids living with us for a time, a new grandbaby ready to bust out, lots and lots of videos, audios, and worksheets being created… creates a bit of overwhelm for my angel girl.

That’s putting it mildly!

It’s more like being a hand in the middle of one of those Dyson Airblade Hand Dryers, feeling like you’ll be blown out into space if you don’t have a firm foothold.

Yep! It’s been a wild ride.

The DF prefers lots of freedom of movement, no rushing, being in the moment, and not feeling to weighed down by life.

I know, I live with one, and have a solid understanding of the fact that Tiff does NOT like to feel overwhelmed…a common emotion for the DF.

When things get super crazy busy at our house, and Tiff is feeling frazzled, the sage wisdom of her mom always comes to my mind.

“Pieces parts little girl.”

Do you remember the timed math drills we did in elementary school?

To Tiff those drills threw her magical brain into overload and she would put her cute foot down and cry at the thought of such a task…that is until her brilliant mama solved the problem by taking a piece of construction paper, cutting a small square out of it, and placing it over the top of the math problems so that she could only see one at a time…voila! Magic!!

Suddenly Tiff’s world got easier and she could finish the drill in record time.

Sage wisdom, I’d say.

Just break it down into “pieces parts.”

Take it easy.

One step at a time.

And before you know it, you’ve completed the “test” with flying colors, and overwhelm disappears.

Nothing makes me happier than being 100% in deep with Tiff and all of her magical, emotional, and mystical ways.

The DF makes the world a much more colorful place.

You’re genius! 

Please let your colors shine BRIGHTLY.



P.S. I’d love to hear 1 thing that simplifies your life when overwhelm hits. Please share right here. Inquiring minds must know. 😉



What tickles your fancy?

What tickles your fancy?

I know that all this DM and DF lingo can feel so whacky and uncertain in so many ways.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with all this masculine/feminine stuff??”  (You may be asking.)

Don’t you worry your pretty little self, both Tiff and yours truly will continue to help you get this schtuff figered out. (Yes, the country accent was included as I just wrote that.)

We make your relationship happiness our business. 😉

The other day I asked Tiff what being happy meant to her.

She thought about it for a minute and said, “Hmmm, what I really want is to enjoy a state of well-being.”

I found it fascinating that her word for happiness has “being” in it…well-being.

The DF lives from a state of “being” and the DM lives from a state of “doing.”

The DF is looking to BE in a state of wellness of mind, body and spirit, and the DM is looking for happiness, most often through DOING.

Tiff’s (DF) idea of well-being includes:

  • being comfy with her own multifaceted emotional states
  • parties
  • connection
  • love
  • family
  • feeling captivating
  • sex
  • affection
  • lots of fun
  • laughter
  • not having to manage all the details
  • worry free
  • sparkly things
  • flow
  • etc…

My (DM) idea of happiness includes:

  • accomplishment
  • a job well-done
  • plenty of money
  • Tiff’s comfort and happiness
  • managing details
  • looking to the future and planning
  • setting goals
  • good sex
  • good food
  • affection
  • knowing I have what it takes
  • being the hero (aka knight in shining armor)
  • etc…

The amazing thing is the fact that when each of us are happy and being/doing what feels good to us individually, we are creating the snap-crackle-pop in our relationship.

The DF and DM go together like peanut butter & jelly, wine & cheese, pizza & beer, whiskey & cigars…Tiff & Jack!

It takes 2 for relationshift bliss! (Do you love those last 2 words…they’re the name of our online relationship program that’s launching next week!! We’re freaking excited.)

Remember it takes a DM and a DF to make the sexual sparks fly in a relationship.

The first thing on your list must be to figure out if you’re the DM or the DF (click the big YELLOW button at the bottom of this page to take the quiz, if you haven’t already).

We’re serious about your well-being…and don’t you forget that!

If you want to make me (Jack/DM) happy, and I’m sure that’s your dying wish, please share the #1 thing that plops you squarely into a state of well-being.

Come on, please share your sexy feelings about this, click right here.

Love, peace & lots of sparkles just for you,


P.S. Click the happy yellow button to take the quiz.


What makes YOU feel captivating?

What makes YOU feel captivating?

Before I begin, I would like to humbly and gratefully thank the many teachers I’ve learned from through the years about what to do and what not to do in relationship.

My heart deeply grateful for the most influential teacher and masculine presence in my life… Jack.

The relationship I’ve been in with Jack has taught me more about myself and my own captivating beauty than any other.

I hold this learning as sacred and dear for it has brought me back to myself and my own feminine joy.

I have also come to understand the brilliance of the dominant masculine (DM). The masculine presence is the excitement and passion in my life.

Ok buckle up, let’s get down to bidness shall we?

In all the years Jack and I have spent coaching such amazing, brilliant peeps, I’ve never talked to a DF (Dominant Feminine) that doesn’t want to experience deep intimacy and sexual passion in his/her primary relationship.

There is one thing that you MUST understand and put into action every single day in order to experience sexual passion and intimacy with your significant other (SO).

To know what that is, please keep reading.

It takes two to tango, baby.

Having a DF and DM together in a relationship is what creates Sexual Polarity.

Sexual polarity is the magical energetic force of passion and intimacy that vibrates between the masculine and feminine thus creating the flow of sexual chemistry.

It’s literally like the positive and negative sides of a magnet coming together. They just can’t help themselves, they’ve got to touch.

Now if you are trying to force two positives or two negatives together, they repel each other.

If there are two DM’s or two DF’s together in a relationship, there will be no sexual polarity. You will actually feel sexually repelled.

This is why the force of attraction sometimes fades away in relationships.

If you want REAL and LASTING passion you must have a giver and a receiver, or in other words a DM(-) and an DF(+), otherwise you’ll have two friendly roommates having sex out of duty or avoiding it all together.

If what you’re reading triggers you, read on dear one, we have answers.

If you don’t have sexual polarity it doesn’t mean that you aren’t great friends and you don’t love each other, but it does mean the sexual passion will dissolve if it hasn’t already.

This will eventually lead to the breaking down of your relationship, robbing you of intimacy and sexual expression.

Some people feel okay not having intimacy or sexual connection in their relationship, and for those people this blog probably won’t speak to them.

But for those of you that DO want passion and intimacy in your relationship, you’re definitely in the right place.

Speaking about sex and polarity, that brings to mind the caveman. Bam! Bam!!

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine that said, “I just want my husband to act like a caveman and crack me over the head with his club, drag me into a cave, and TAKE me!”

Now that’s some sexual polarity! Yes it’s true, those caveman moments certainly are exhilarating! LOL

The conversation I had with my friend reminded me of all the ways I  see what a goner Jack is when s/he sees me, and I know without a doubt that s/he’s totally captivated and smitten by me being my feminine energy self.

RelationTip # 1: The driving force of the DF is to be captivating.

When I feel captivating (wanted, heard, seen) there’s nothing I can’t do because life feels exciting and hopeful.

When I don’t feel captivating or desirable, life feels like a damn drag. In fact it just sucks!

RelationTip # 2:  Captivating your SO is a no-brainer when they’re your polar opposite energy.

RelationTip # 3: Body parts do NOT determine Dominant Energy.

Being my sexy captivating feminine self includes daily self-attention.

I adorn myself.

I love to look tantalizing.

I see my face and body as a canvas of creative expression.

I wear clothes that match my personality.

I love all of the vibrant color and texture I add to my canvas.

I have created my own perfume with sensual oils that I wear every day, and I keep my skin  soft with coconut oil.

I LOVE my baths and get to the gym often.

I take pride in being a homemaker, mother and business owner.

Doing these things bring immense joy to me and oh boy is Jack captivated!

Honestly there’s no better feeling than when Jack come home for lunch, and gasps when s/he sees me! Talk about feeling cherished. 😉

What do you do to express your feminine self? What do you adorn yourself with? What are your sacred rituals? Come on, please share with us.

If you haven’t thought about this before, take some time, and think of creative ways to express yourself in your feminine essence.

Nothing is more captivating to the DM than a DF that takes joy in creating beauty and adorning themselves through creative expression.

I would love to hear some of your ideas.

Here’s to another beautiful week of being captivating! Ha!

Now I’m off to make our son’s birthday cake. Happy Birthday, Anders!

Peace & Sparkles,