7 EASY WAYS TO SPARK PASSION

7 EASY WAYS TO SPARK PASSION

SNEAK PEAK (3)

We know that everyone gets stuck now-and-then when it comes to doing things that affect positive change in your intimate relationship.

Everyone finds themselves in old ruts and patterns where your relationship begins to feel a bit, well…stale. The Modern Relationship is a whole new ballgame, all of the “old” rules no longer apply.

Intimate relationship is our specialty and we’re going to make it super simple for you. Here are 7 things that you can do easily, that will instantly spark passion in your relationship.

The only thing required, is that you actually take the time to do it.

1. LOOK & LISTEN

How well do you listen to your SO (significant other) when they’re talking to you? Come on be honest now.

Do you stop what you’re doing, look at them right in the eyeballs, and listen carefully to what they’re saying?

Life gets busy and crazy and it’s very easy to disregard the person talking to you because you have a million other things on your mind. This is no excuse folks, everyone has crap they’re dealing with all the time.

Your SO deserves your full attention when they’re talking to you.

If it’s not a good time for you to chat, be clear on WHEN would be a better time, and stick to your word.

If you want intimacy, passion, and awesome sex w/your SO, you MUST listen when they speak, this is a basic foundational piece to your happy relationship puzzle.

  • Don’t try to figure out what to say while they’re talking.
  • Don’t interrupt them.
  • Don’t get distracted looking at your phone or TV.

Your assignment: When your SO is talking to you, stop what you’re doing STARE into their eyes, and really LISTEN.

2. TOUCH ME PLEASE!!

We live in a culture and country where touching each other is minimal. Go visit Spain, Italy or a myriad of other countries and notice how every person you meet is either kissing you on the cheeks or hugging you and breathing your scent in. Here in America, you’re lucky if you get eye contact.

Let’s break this barrier down, shall we?!

Everyone needs to feel the touch of someone they love and that loves them. It says, “I love you and want you.”

When you walk past your person, reach out and touch them every time they’re within reach.

We’re not saying you have to throw them to the floor and make love every time you see them (well, you can if that’s what you both want), but we are saying it’s extremely beneficial to reach your arm out towards your lover and brush them on the shoulder or kiss them on the cheek as you walk past them.

It’s not hard and it feels good.

When you’re watching TV together at the end of a long day, sit close enough to touch so you can smell their perfume or cologne and reach out and caress their hand or hair.

Touch saves lives. Babies that go without touch can actually die because of it and so can a relationship.

It’s simple! And makes all the difference.

3. DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Are you doing something you love, every single day? Something that opens you up and gives you the opportunity to be more of Who You REALLY Are?

It could be yoga, tai chi, dancing, gardening, going for a run, listening to music that makes you feel alive! Maybe it’s walking the dog, hiking, lifting weights, meditating, writing, reading, etc… just do it.

If you will do something that you feel passionate about each and every day, you’ll be more of yourself and more open to give and receive love. You’ll feel more fulfilled and your heart will be wide open to the world around you.

(If you’re struggling finding something that lights your fire, ask the Universe or your Angels to help you find it or it to find you, and trust us, you will.)

SNEAK PEAK (3)

4. ASK

When you’re in conversation with your SO ask them questions about what they’re sharing. This is easy if they’re sharing something that’s deeply interesting to you, you’ll have tons of questions pop up. But when your SO is sharing something more personal and talking about their feelings or thoughts it can be more difficult, but this is where you ask THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

  • Ask the DF (dominant feminine thinker): “How does that make you feel?”
  • Ask the DM (dominant masculine thinker): “What do you think about that?”

When you ask this question, you’re sure to learn something new about your person that you didn’t know. And the more you know about each other, the easier it is to say and do things for them that make a huge difference.

For example, because I (Jack) pay attention and want to know Tiff’s likes and dislikes, I know that she does NOT like ice cream (except very occasionally she wants a soft serve twist cone…without the cone of course) so now when I want to bring a treat home for her I will bring caramels, pomegranate seeds (already shelled), or the old standby, a Reese’s Crunchy Big Peanut Butter Cup.  All because I listen.

Listening pays off in HUGE ways.

Oh and don’t try to finish their sentences because you THINK you know what they’re going to say (I’ve (Jack) been so guilty of this and can tell you I’m getting better and better at zipping my f—— lip). Rarely will you get it right so just zip the lip and pay attention.

TOP SECRET INFO:

The DF wants to know that they captivate you and that they’re desired. The DM wants to know that they please you and are appreciated for what they do.

5. KISS ME DEEP

We couldn’t EVER write an article about the simple things you can do to make a big difference in your relationship, without bringing up kissing, now can we?!!

Kissing is vital.

When is the last time you kissed your SO in a way that stopped them in their tracks? If it has been longer than 24 hours, REPENT NOW! Go find them right now and kiss them like you mean it, damn it!

When you’re kissing, KISS DEEP and take your time.

Don’t think about bills, or what you need to get done, just kiss… and FEEL it all the way through your body right down to your toes.

6. STOP THE BULLSHIT

Stop telling yourself stories!!! We tell ourselves about what we THINK the other person means when they ask you a question, make a comment, or give you that certain look. The stories we tell ourselves creates conflict faster than a speeding bullet. Wow!

Maybe your SO walks into the room you’re sitting in, watching Outlander (an awesome series about past lives, Scottish men in kilts, and lots of sex) or another show you love, and they give you “the look,” you know “the look” and instantly you jump into defensive mode and get your shorts in a knot because you feel like you’re being judged in some way, only to have your SO then explain that she/he had a question about something wholly unrelated to you doing some wrong. Can you say, “Asshat?”

Oops!

When we assume we know what the other person is thinking and make up a story about it, we’ll always get into trouble, and have to deal with a new conflict. No thank you I would rather not.

Stop the story telling, plain and simple.

This is where asking questions is vital to your happy relationshipping.

7. JUST SAY IT

No we’re not talking about telling your SO every single thing they do that pisses you off, we’re talking about sharing the things you LOVE about your SO. Oftentimes we think in our mind how sexy we find our SO, or how good they smell or how much we appreciate the fact that they scraped the snow off our car and warmed it up for us before leaving for work. Instead of keeping this thought in your mind only, open your sexy mouth, and let it out. Speak it to your ONE.

Kind words of love and appreciation go a very LONG way.

I know that for me (the DM) when Tiff says to me how much she appreciates the fact that I bring her treats, or that I have thrown a load of laundry in or getting the bills paid, it makes me want to be better and do more.

The DM loves to know that what they’re doing is making a positive difference in the life of their DF.

And the DF needs to know how sexy you find them. Does the way they smell just turn you on? And make you want to eat them for dinner?? When you look at your DF and the clothes they’re wearing or the way they’ve done their makeup or hair revs your engine, open your mouth and tell them. The DF wants to know they slay you, that they’re captivating and have your attention.

It’s just so simple.

Say the positive things you think about each other TO each other!

Here’s a quick recap…

  1. LOOK & LISTEN
  2. TOUCH ME PLEASE
  3. DO WHAT YOU LOVE
  4. ASK
  5. KISS ME DEEP
  6. STOP THE BULLSHIT
  7. JUST SAY IT

There you have it! Now go be amazing!!!

Sending you every good thing.

Love,

Tiff & Jack

P.S. We’re delighted to share some of the juicy insider secrets about our “modern” relationship. We’ll also help you understand why it’s critical for you to know if you’re more masculine thinking or more feminine thinking and why having one of each is the only way to have wild passion in your relationship. CLICK THE YELLOW BOX FOR YOUR FREE GIFT…

SNEAK PEAK (3)

Why are you hiding?

Why are you hiding?

Are you willing to be seen?

Really and truly?

You may be like me and most everyone I know, and want MORE than you have right now–more love, more laughter, more money, more passion, more fun, more peace, more clarity, and the list goes on-and-on, but if you’re in hiding and not allowing your bright-yet-sometimes-messy-self to be seen, you won’t be found.

It’s time to remove the Invisibility Cloak.

Rip it off!

Speak up. Share your feelings. Don’t hold back.

Be you!

If the thought of this gives you anxiety, you can start with a tiny little baby step…simply become willing to be seen, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised with how quickly the Universe says, “0k darling, I’ve been waiting for you to ask.”

No more hiding, please.

Let your light out my loves.

People are waiting to see you.

When you allow others to truly see you, you’re making a statement that says, “I am here and I have something to offer.”

Today, if you are willing to be a little vulnerable, allowing yourself to be seen a little bit more, go ahead and share with us one of your heart’s desires, we would love to hear from you.

You matter.

Kisses and Sparkles,

Tiff

7 LITTLE Things that Make the BIGGEST Difference in Relationship

7 LITTLE Things that Make the BIGGEST Difference in Relationship

Tiff and I know from working with our clients, and our own experience, that everyone gets a little stuck now-and-then when it comes to doing the things that affect positive change in your intimate relationship.

Everyone finds themselves in old ruts and patterns where your relationship begins to feel a bit stale.

Intimate relationship is our specialty and I’m going to make it super simple for you so there’ll be no excuses. I’m going to share 7 simple things that you can do easily, that will instantly rejuvenate your relationship.

The only thing required of you is that you actually take the time to DO it and then repeat (again and again and again…you get the idea).

It’s the LITTLE things that make the BIGGEST difference.

 

7 LITTLE Things That Make the BIGGEST

Difference in Relationship

 

1. Listen & Look

How well do you listen to your SO (significant other) when they’re talking to you?

Do you stop what you’re doing and listen carefully to what they’re saying? (Answer this question honestly, please.)

Life gets busy and crazy and it’s very easy to disregard the person talking to you because you have a million other things going on in your head. But this is no excuse, everyone has shit they’re dealing with all the time. And your SO deserves your full attention when they’re talking to you.

And if it’s not a good time for you to give them your full attention, be clear about WHEN would be a better time, and be true to your word and show up when you say you will.

If you want intimacy, passion, great connection and awesome sex with your SO, you MUST listen to them when they’re talking to you, this is a basic foundational piece to your happy relationship puzzle.

When I say listen, I mean REALLY LISTEN. Don’t be trying to figure out what to say while they’re talking, just listen to them without interrupting or being distracted by a million other things. It sounds so simple, but why the hell are so many of us continually distracted when listening to another person, especially our PERSON.

Here’s your assignment: When your SO is talking to you, stop what you’re doing and pay attention, LOOK into their eyes, and really LISTEN. Looking into their eyes gives you clues about them and how they’re feeling and doing at that moment (this is very important information for you).

Oh, and please put your damn phone down, it can wait!

 

2. Touch

We live in a culture and country where touching each other is minimal. Go visit Spain or Italy or a myriad of other countries and notice how every person you meet is kissing you on the cheeks, hugging you and breathing your scent in, and here in America, you’re lucky if you get eye contact.

Let’s break this barrier down, baby.

When you walk past your person, you know the one that brings you to your knees in the most delicious way, reach out and touch them every time they’re within reach. 

You don’t have to throw them to the floor and make love every time you see them (I mean you can if that’s what you both want), but what I’m saying is simply reach your arm out towards your lover and brush them on the shoulder or kiss them on the cheek as you walk past them.

It’s not hard and it feels good.

If you’re watching TV together at the end of a long day, sit close enough to touch so you can smell their perfume or cologne and reach out and caress their hand or hair.

Touch saves lives. Babies that go without touch can actually die because of it.

Everyone needs to feel the touch of someone that they love and loves them back.

Touching your SO as you move past them says, “I love you and see you.”

It’s simple! And makes all the difference.

 

3. Live Your Passion

Are you doing something you love, every single day? Something that opens you up and gives you the opportunity to be more of Who You Really Are?

It could be yoga, tai chi, dancing, gardening, going for a run, listening to music that makes you feel alive, walking the dog, taking a hot bubble bath, meditating, writing, reading, etc… just do it. 

If you will do something that you feel passionate about each and every day, you’ll be more of yourself and more open to be loved by your SO. You’ll feel more fulfilled and your heart will be more open to the world around you.

If you’re struggling finding something that lights your fire, ask the Universe or your Angels to help you find it or it to find you, and trust me, you will.

You living your passion is “tending to yourself” and that makes all the difference for a happier relationship.

 

4. Ask Questions

When you learn to really listen to another person (especially your SO), you’ll have part of the relationship figured out.

Another part is engaging with your person by asking them questions about what they’re sharing. Now if they’re sharing something that’s deeply interesting to you, you’ll have tons of questions pop up. Go right ahead and ask away, engage with your SO.

But when your SO is sharing something more personal and talking about their feelings or thoughts, this is where you ask THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION.

  • Ask the DF (dominant feminine thinker): “How does that make you feel?”
  • Ask the DM (dominant masculine thinker): “What do you think about that?”

When you ask this question, you’re sure to learn something new about your person that you didn’t know. And the more you know about each other, the easier it is to say and do things for them that make a huge difference for good.

For example because I pay attention and want to know Tiff’s likes and dislikes, I know that she does NOT like ice cream (except very occasionally she wants a soft serve twist cone…without the cone of course) so now when I want to bring a treat home for her I will bring caramels, pomegranate seeds (already shelled), or the old standby, a Reese’s Crunchy Big Peanut Butter Cup.  All because I listen.

Listening pays off in HUGE ways. 

Oh and don’t try to finish their sentences because you THINK you know what they’re going to say (I’ve been so guilty of this and can tell you I’m getting better and better at zipping my f—— lip). Rarely will you get it right so just be quiet and listen.

The DF wants to know that they captivate you and that they’re seen. The DM wants to know that they are appreciated for what they do.

And one last thing, don’t be the one doing ALL of the talking, ALL of the time, it gets really boring. It takes 2 to tango.

Asking questions and paying attention helps you love each other so much better.

Try it, you might like it…or LOVE it!

 

5. Kiss Like You Mean It!

I couldn’t EVER write an article about the simple things you can do to make a big difference in your relationship, without bringing up kissing, now can I?!!

Kissing is vital.

When is the last time you kissed your SO in a way that stopped them in their tracks and it was all they could do to keep from falling over? If it has been longer than 24 hours, repent, and go find them right now and kiss them like you mean it, damn it!

When you’re kissing, just kiss, without distractions getting in the way.

Don’t think about the bills that need paying, or where you’re going next, just kiss… long and deep and FEEL it all the way through your body right down to your toes.

Kissing costs nothing and the returns are HUGE.

Go kiss someone you’re in love with, today. And if the one you lives across the country, write them a note and tell them how kissing them makes you feel.

Kiss kiss!

6. No Story Telling

No, I’m not talking about sharing funny stories about your day or anything like that. I’m talking about the stories we tell ourselves about what we THINK the other person means when they ask you a question, make a comment, or give you that certain look.And let me tell you I’m the perfect person to be writing about this. The stories I’ve told myself about what I think Tiff is saying underneath her words creates conflict between us faster than a speeding bullet.

Maybe your SO walks into the room you’re sitting in, watching Outlander (awesome series about past lives, Scottish men in kilts, and lots of sex) or another show you love, and they give you “the look,” you know “the look” and instantly you jump into defensive mode and get your feelings hurt because you feel like you’re being judged in some way, only to have your SO then explain that she/he had a question about something wholly unrelated to you doing some wrong.

Oops!

When we assume we know what the other person is thinking and make up a story about it, we’ll always get into trouble, and have to deal with a new conflict.

Stop the story telling, plain and simple.

This is where asking questions is vital to your happiness.

 

7. Speak your mind

No I’m not talking about telling your SO every single thing they do that makes you want to jump up and down in anger, I’m talking about sharing the things you LOVE about your SO.Oftentimes we may think in our mind how sexy we find our SO, or how good they smell or how much we appreciate the fact that they scraped the snow off our car and warmed it up for us before leaving for work. Instead of keeping this thought in your mind only, open your sexy mouth, and let it out. Speak it to your ONE.

Kind words of love and appreciation go a very LONG way.

I know that for me (the DM) when Tiff says to me how much she appreciates the fact that I bring her treats, or that I have thrown a load of laundry in or getting the bills paid, it makes me want to be better and do more.

The DM loves to know that what they’re doing is making a positive difference in the life of their DF.

And the DF needs to know how sexy you find them. Does the way they smell just turn you on? And make you want to eat them for dinner?? Then tell them!

When you look at your DF and the clothes they’re wearing or the way they’ve done their makeup or hair revs your engine, open your mouth and tell them. The DF wants to know they slay you, that they’re captivating and have your attention.

It’s so simple.

Say the positive things you think about each other TO each other.

The little things make the biggest difference!

Thanks for reading to the end, I know you’re serious about being happy in your relationship, and that you’re willing to do whatever you can to make things better and better.

Sending you every good thing.

Love,

Jack

P.S. And if all of these acronyms confuse you, please take the quiz by clicking the yellow button below, it’s the perfect place to start understanding our blog and yourself better.

 

Both Sides of Authenticity

Both Sides of Authenticity

Living authentically has been scary on occasion for Jack and me, especially as public figures. We never know how we’ll be received. We never know who our haters may be.

We live authentic lives because it’s the only path to true happiness.

Happiness is my deepest desire, and I’ll do what ever it takes to be happy.

Living in what another person wants for me makes me feel dead and unhappy. I won’t do it. Ever.

The reason we share our journey is so that YOU might find hope in living your truth. We love our human family, and we’re here as a support to you that want to create loving and abundant lives.

We often talk about our joy and happiness and how blessed we are, which may have left you with the feeling or idea that we’re just lucky and things are always easy.

Nope.

Life’s not always a cake walk for us.

Being authentic, also means getting real.

Here are some real facts for you…

A year ago Jack’s sister died, and it was devastating. This month also marks the death of his dad, when Jack was 11.

We were terrified to tell the family of Jack’s FTM transition in fear that they would feel like this would be like another death to them. And sure enough there has been talk of exactly that. Now there are just a few in his family that will talk to us. We’ve been wading through much rejection, and it isn’t easy, in fact it’s heartbreaking for Jack and hurts my feelings that I’m not openly accepted or recognized as an important part of Jack’s life.

I think we’re pretty freaking awesome and have a lot of love to give, but we won’t conform to what others think we should be or do, so often it means, we’re out. This SUCKS!

When Jack and I together made the decision for him to transition, I knew it was right, but had to walk in pure faith all the same.

The fears that came up in me were hellacious. My biggest fear would scream that Jack might not want me anymore. I wondered how the testosterone would make him act. What if it made him mean? I was so afraid.

It took me a while to let go of the idea of “Suzi.” But now, it’s just Jack and it all feels so right! Three months in, and I count this transition as the greatest gift of our lives.

There are days I do break down and cry because I feel so tired of the backlash and fear of other people in regards to how I choose to live my life.

“Can’t you see that I’m more happy than I have every been? Why can’t you see me?”

Sometimes the fears that come up with running a business, being the mother of 6 children, running a home, writing articles, making videos, constantly doing my inner work so that I can stay in alignment and teach, and supporting my husband through his changes, is so overwhelming I feel like I’ll be crushed by the illusions I buy into.

Sometimes my fears get the best of me.

If it weren’t for Jack, as my partner in it all, the one who helps me keep perspective, and for all the details he takes care of, I couldn’t do any of this. He truly makes my life run smooth.

He treats me like a queen.

People see how in love we are and think it’s always been like this.

NO ONE has a clue as to what we’ve had to release and what we’ve had to do to be where we are.

It’s true, we’re deeply in love and have an amazing life but only because we’re willing to do the hardest things you could possibly imagine.

We live a life of trusting God and the universe implicitly.

We were both in difficult marriages to other people for 20 years before we found each other.

When we did find each other, we had to let go of every single way we’d always done things, in order to be together.

Do you know what that was like? OMG! There are no words to describe it, a true fire walk of epic proportions.

The great thing about all of this… We now have the answer to the hard question, “How do you create Relationship Bliss?”

This is part of our authenticity. Make no mistake, our life isn’t just a cup of tea.

It takes effort to choose happiness and live it.

What are you willing to do to be happy?

Are you willing to walk into the unknown?

Can you get real with the people around you?

Can you handle a bit of rejection?

If you said yes to these questions, you will have happiness and bliss!

You can start being authentic here, ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH to tell us one thing that others might not know about you? C’mon, please share down below.

Remember you’re not alone in this life. We’re right here with you, wanting to make things easier.

Loves and kisses,

Tiff