I know that all this DM and DF lingo can feel so whacky and uncertain in so many ways.
“What the hell am I supposed to do with all this masculine/feminine stuff??” (You may be asking.)
Don’t you worry your pretty little self, both Tiff and yours truly will continue to help you get this schtuff figered out. (Yes, the country accent was included as I just wrote that.)
We make your relationship happiness our business. 😉
The other day I asked Tiff what being happy meant to her.
She thought about it for a minute and said, “Hmmm, what I really want is to enjoy a state of well-being.”
I found it fascinating that her word for happiness has “being” in it…well-being.
The DF lives from a state of “being” and the DM lives from a state of “doing.”
The DF is looking to BE in a state of wellness of mind, body and spirit, and the DM is looking for happiness, most often through DOING.
Tiff’s (DF) idea of well-being includes:
- being comfy with her own multifaceted emotional states
- feeling captivating
- lots of fun
- not having to manage all the details
- worry free
- sparkly things
My (DM) idea of happiness includes:
- a job well-done
- plenty of money
- Tiff’s comfort and happiness
- managing details
- looking to the future and planning
- setting goals
- good sex
- good food
- knowing I have what it takes
- being the hero (aka knight in shining armor)
The amazing thing is the fact that when each of us are happy and being/doing what feels good to us individually, we are creating the snap-crackle-pop in our relationship.
The DF and DM go together like peanut butter & jelly, wine & cheese, pizza & beer, whiskey & cigars…Tiff & Jack!
It takes 2 for relationshift bliss! (Do you love those last 2 words…they’re the name of our online relationship program that’s launching next week!! We’re freaking excited.)
Remember it takes a DM and a DF to make the sexual sparks fly in a relationship.
The first thing on your list must be to figure out if you’re the DM or the DF (click the big YELLOW button at the bottom of this page to take the quiz, if you haven’t already).
We’re serious about your well-being…and don’t you forget that!
If you want to make me (Jack/DM) happy, and I’m sure that’s your dying wish, please share the #1 thing that plops you squarely into a state of well-being.
Come on, please share your sexy feelings about this, click right here.
Love, peace & lots of sparkles just for you,
P.S. Click the happy yellow button to take the quiz.
You probably have a pretty good idea of what someone acting butt-hurt looks like, but today I’m going to paint the picture especially for you.
Being the masculine half of the Tiff & Jack duo, I have firsthand experience with being butt-hurt.
I know when Tiff says to me, “Can I share something,” my ego is in trouble, which of course is the precursor to the infamous butt-hurt moments.
I hate acting butt-hurt, it’s a damn pain in the ass. My ego gets all up-in-arms wanting to prove why “I’m right, and they’re wrong.”
May I get even a bit more personal with you?
The other morning I had showered, eaten breakfast, taken the dog for a walk, kissed Tiff’s sweet lips, and headed out the door ready for a great day of building our website and working on our online relationship program.
I had just dropped our son off at school and was getting ready to drive to the office, happy about getting such an early start, when the infamous *ding ding* chimed on my iPhone, I look down and see Tiffany’s name and instantly I realized I had dropped the ball.
Oh, it gets worse!
The day before I had lovingly told Tiff I would get the dinner dishes done, and pick up some coconut milk in the morning after I dropped Anders off at school.
Guess what . . . I forgot both things! Shit!! I was in trouble and I had no excuse, but believe you me, I searched until I thought I had found a really great “reason” that I had not kept my word.
My text to her:
I’m in a state of huge amounts of thought and energy with everything going on, business, and getting emails out. I am coming home to do the dishes right now. I’m sorry.
Her text to me:
Sorry doesn’t cut it, I need to know that I can count on what you say you’ll do. If you aren’t really planning on it, don’t offer. This makes me feel like you don’t really appreciate me or care about my feelings. I honestly feel like work is your priority and I’m not, and that doesn’t work for me.
Adrenaline gushed through my guts.
I drove home . . . pissed as hell, and did the dishes, with a chip the size of Texas on my shoulder.
Butt-hurt all the way!
Who was I pissed at?
Was it Tiff for being clear about how she struggled to trust what I say when I don’t follow through?
Or was I pissed at myself because I hadn’t followed through, and the precious feelings of my feminine peach were caught in the crosshairs of my ignoramus ways?
The harder I tried to prove myself innocent, the more butt-hurt I got.
I couldn’t come up with 1 damn thing as to why it wasn’t my fault.
I said I would do those things and I didn’t. It was as simple as that.
I do understand that you, the feminine, need to be able to count on your masculine partner to do what they say they’ll do. Hence, your feelings are cherished.
What is the #1 way your feelings are cherished? (If you will be so kind as to share right below this post, all of everyone else will be so happy to hear from you.)
When your feelings are cherished by your masculine partner, your trust grows, allowing you to be more vulnerable and open to receiving what the masculine wants so badly to give you.
It took me about half a day to unravel my butt-hurt and get back to center.
My take-away: Be Impeccable!
And if you make a mistake, apologize, but even more importantly get your actions in alignment with your priorities, and STOP the excuses.
Excuses do nothing more than emasculate you, and turn your feminine partner away in disgust.
I want Tiff to know that I adore her and the fastest and easiest way to do that is by doing what I say I’m going to do.
I could hit the million dollar gross revenue mark and if I forget the milk, I have missed the whole effing boat.
Life is about love.
Love is about connection.
And connection is all about me cherishing the feelings of my beloved.
Oh, and don’t forget the godamned milk!
It makes ALL the difference.
Hope to see you in the comments below, because I want to know all about your feelings and how you feel cherished.