[smart_track_player url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/tiffandjack/022_-_Parenting_Doesnt_Have_to_Suck.mp3″ ]Tiff & Jack come at parenting from every angle in this episode: parenting young children parenting teens, parenting adult children, blended families, divorce, and empowering your kids every step of the way. And be sure to catch our insider tips on using the Law of Attraction to make parenting NOT suck!
Tiff & Jack have a blended family of 6 kids, 4 in-laws, and 1 sweet grand baby girl who’s affectionately referred to as “Tulip” or “grandnugget.”
You may think that Tiff and I never argue or get into conflict.
You’d be mistaken.
Over the past 9 years we’ve been together we’ve worked through MANY conflicts. Some very big and some very small, with a few in between.
Yep, we’re human.
Sorry to burst your bubble like this.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Well, in all of their pictures on facebook, they look so happy and in love.”
Have you ever found yourself dreaming of the day when you have a relationship that feels good all the time? Where there’s no drama or conflict to work through?
The truth is, being in a relationship will be the hardest work you ever do, and the highest of highs and the lowest of lows will be experienced.
So if you find yourself wishing for that day when you live in BLISS, remember the dog days will rear their ugly heads and when that happens, remember this, “Tiff and Jack said they have days like this too, and they work through it, so I know I can too.”
We want you to know that it’s okay to feel like crap some days, and to wonder how in the hell you’ll ever make it through the latest *brouhaha (I just love this word) you’re facing.
a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something.
“24 members resigned over the brouhaha”
In today’s DIY RelationTips video, Tiff and I are getting real, raw, and relevant, and give you the 3 steps necessary to move from wanting to throttle your “other” to feeling that delicious connectivity you love so much.
As you can see, it’s not easy, but it is simple to move from pissed to blissed.
It’s 3 simple steps just like we outlined in the video.
How do you manage your anger? What do you do to calm yourself so that you can move into resolution with your SO (significant other)? Inquiring minds would like to know, share right below this post.
P.S. Know of anyone struggling in their relationship? Please forward this email to your best friends — or anyone who could use a boost of encouragement and direction.
There’s a brisk wind coming into my bedroom window as I lay under my feather quilt.
My nose is cold and I get to snuggle up to my sleeping beloved as I type this on my iPhone. Life does not get better than this I must say!
Winter’s coming early this year and I’m not surprised. I could feel it coming weeks ago. I was telling Jack that change was on its way.
Change always happens doesn’t it? You can count on it no matter what.
The funny thing is most of us try to avoid it at all costs.
Why do we do this?
The unconscious brain’s prime directive is to keep things the same, so that it knows what to count on. This is the “safety” default setting.
If anything pops in that’s unfamiliar we tend to get a bit skittish and exhibit sabotaging behaviors. Thus, most people are anxious all the time.
Even though change is not always the desired outcome for the unconscious, it inevitably rocks our world over and over again.
The only thing that won’t change is the fact that change is continually happening.
If we’ll learn to embrace the unknown and unfamiliar we’ll thrive in the place of unlimited possibility. This is where we can set our intentions, and begin to manifest our heart’s desire. It’s the home land of all miracles!
If things were to stay the same we’d be seriously limited and stuck in the same old same old. Who really wants that? Not me!
The Universe is always here to assist by saying, “Yes” to what we focus on. And I mean every single solitary thing!!!
So, what’re you thinking about? What’s your focus?
If it’s not what you want, change your thoughts straight away so the change that comes into your life will head in the direction you truly want.
The unknown is right where I want to be. And believe me, I’m there often!
I embrace change because I know that if I want more of anything, things must change from what they are right now.
Let’s embrace the unknown so we can make love with idea of change.
I’m going to close my eyes now, in this glorious early Fall breeze and meditate, then I’m going imagine how great all my holiday parties will be.
Ahhhhhh, beautiful things are coming . . . to you too!
Peace and Sparkles,
P.S. If you have a friend that’s going through a load of change, why not share this message with them today, and lighten their world. We’d be honored. 🙂
I don’t know about you but the last time I found myself in a position needing to apologize (which was just this morning…but more on that in a minute) I was saying “I’m sorry….BUT.”
Needless to say, my BUT got in the way.
Does your BUT ever get in the way?
As a quick reminder from me (the DM – dominant masculine), we have a million and one reasons why we do everything and anything.
When it comes to owning up to our own s***, and saying sorry, we get a little pig-headed sometimes.
“I’m sorry, BUT…” is translated as, “I don’t really care about your feelings I just want to PROVE why I’m not responsible for my poor behavior or making you feel worse.
I know that you (the DF – dominant feminine) may get tired of hearing the apologies but at the same time it really does matter because when there’s an apology without an excuse attached, it actually gives you hope that there’s some care and concern for your feelings.
Back to my morning snafu.
Tiff and I were having a conversation when Tiff mentioned she didn’t know what I thought about something that I’d been sharing with her and instead of me clarifying, I said, “I already told you, but I’ll tell you again, because you didn’t hear me.”
What I was really saying was, “you don’t listen to me and so I will do you a ‘favor’ and say it again.” (Damn rude!)
Now mind you, I had a million-and-one excuses for my accusatory comment but suffice it to say, me just saying, “I’m sorry for saying that the way I did, it’ not my intention to make you feel bad but I realize that’s exactly what I did with my thoughtless comment, please forgive me.”
A little food for thought.
Everyone does stupid stuff sometimes. There’s no getting around that.
Remember, when you’re apologizing (whether you are the DM or the DF) leave the BUTS out of it.
It makes all the difference.
P.S. How does it make you feel when your SO (significant other) apologizes without any excuses? I’d love to know.
P.P.S. Also if you haven’t taken the quiz already to determine whether you think more like a masculine or more like a feminine, take the quiz right here:
It’s an interesting thing….the masculine thought process.
I’m always working towards completion.
Have you seen this characteristic in the DM before?
I live it on a daily basis.
This past mother’s day was a perfect example of how finality and the masculine go hand-in-hand (in a not-so-pretty way).
I love buying things for Tiff.
Especially to celebrate the beautiful mother that she is to our 6 kids.
I spend time and thought wanting to pick the perfect card.
Have you seen the Papyrus brand of cards? They’re gorgeous.
I stood there forever trying to make my decision.
I found myself coming back to the same card over and over, and after much thought, that’s the one I picked.
I bought it, took it home, and wrote my loving epithets in it.
While Tiff was getting ready for the day, I sneakily placed the card on her pillow so she could see it when walked into the room.
She comes in, sees it, smiles, picks it up, opens it, and with a bit of confusion says, “Did you re-card?”
Talk about the wind getting knocked right out of my sails.
Then she reaches down and pulls last year’s mother’s day card out of her keepsake drawer and guess what??!!!
It’s the same exact card!
Good grief, people!! How does this happen??!
(This is where finality comes into play, please let me explain.)
Tiff laughed and kissed my face telling me how much she loves and adores me and I’m left speechless about the fact I literally gave it my all to pick the perfect card and it was the exact same card as last year.
It was so perfect that I picked it twice. 😉
One of the main characteristics of the DM is enjoying the finality of getting something done.
When it’s done we move on to the next thing (not giving much thought to what was in the past…because it’s already done…hence the Mother’s Day card fiasco).
Note to self:
Lighten up buddy, it happens.
Note to DF:
Thank you for loving us in all of our differences and what would seem to be thoughtlessness when in actuality it’s just a case of finality.
It can be perceived as the DM being insensitive, thoughtless, or oblivious.
Once something is complete it’s put out of our mind.
It’s not insensitivity, it’s moving forward to the next “dragon to slay.”
And if I had to remember every dragon of the past I couldn’t put my whole heart into this one in the here-and-now that’s wanting to annihilate me and the people I love.
Here’s to a new day as the DM in all of our finality.