004 – Balance is a State of Mind

004 – Balance is a State of Mind

Balance is a state of mind!

Life is continually changing. Unexpected surprises are always popping up. So how are we supposed to find balance in this ever-changing life experience when it can oftentimes feel like we’re in a blender on puree?

Balance has been quite an elusive goal we’ve chased for many years, and we finally have this beast figured out.

The huge A-HA is that balance is a STATE OF MIND!

Today’s podcast covers the 5 Ways to Achieve Balance:

  1. Center yourself every day. (If you don’t know what we mean, be sure to listen because we go in depth about how to “center yourself” and it’s different for the feminine vs the masculine.)
  2. Be clear on your personal boundaries and priorities.
  3. Remember you’re here to live by your own rules, not anybody else’s.
  4. Change is a fact of life, embrace it.
  5. Live an authentic life. (This is an ever-evolving state, no perfection required.)

Here’s to a balanced state of Mind!

 

LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED

XOXO,

Tiff & Jack

 

Here I am, do you want me?

Here I am, do you want me?

Each time I write an article or a facebook post, I’m putting myself out there knowing my words may look funny or be misspelled because I have dyslexia.

It’s possible that my writing might be less than what I want and this makes me feel vulnerable.

In fact today’s message is about being vulnerable and why it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself and our SO (significant other).

Being vulnerable means you’re heart is open and you’re acting without defense. It means that you’re willing to put yourself out there warts and all, and to be seen no matter who the haters are.

This may sound pretty scary but the truth is, when someone, especially your SO (significant other), has the opportunity to see the real you… connection and joy are your possibilities.

Do you feel safe?

Our prime directive is to feel safe. And our biggest fear is not being wanted and ending up alone.

When you’re trying to keep yourself safe, things can feel pretty messed up.

Here are a couple of the problem areas:

  1. Living guarded . . . This is where you don’t trust that you’re safe and you keep your heart closed, while judging the behavior of your SO.
  2. Living inauthentic . . . This is where you don’t do the things you that you want to do, or have a negotiating conversation, because you’re afraid your SO won’t want who you are, or that you’re not captivating enough.

If you choose to live this way you may feel like you’re protecting yourself but what you’re actually doing is robbing yourself of joy and deep connection.

The soul is looking for connection, joy, fun, happiness, pleasure, fulfillment, success, and the list goes on. These things are only found in a state of vulnerability.

Being vulnerable and opening your heart (over and over again) is the only way to experience deep intimacy with your person.

Where are the places in your life where you struggle to be vulnerable?

Did you know that people want to know who you are and would love to hear what you say?

Your assignment:

  • For the next 7 days – I want you to share 1 thing about yourself each day with your SO or someone else that matters to you.
  • My suggestion is to share it with someone that you know listens and can be present with you as you share.

This homework is your ticket to living more open.

Feeling open is the first step to living vulnerable.

Here’s to JOY!

In fact I would love to have you share something with all of us right now that others may not know about you…go ahead, there’s a space right down below for your precious words.

Come on in, the water’s fine.

Loves and Kisses,

Tiff (the DF)

Both Sides of Authenticity

Both Sides of Authenticity

Living authentically has been scary on occasion for Jack and me, especially as public figures. We never know how we’ll be received. We never know who our haters may be.

We live authentic lives because it’s the only path to true happiness.

Happiness is my deepest desire, and I’ll do what ever it takes to be happy.

Living in what another person wants for me makes me feel dead and unhappy. I won’t do it. Ever.

The reason we share our journey is so that YOU might find hope in living your truth. We love our human family, and we’re here as a support to you that want to create loving and abundant lives.

We often talk about our joy and happiness and how blessed we are, which may have left you with the feeling or idea that we’re just lucky and things are always easy.

Nope.

Life’s not always a cake walk for us.

Being authentic, also means getting real.

Here are some real facts for you…

A year ago Jack’s sister died, and it was devastating. This month also marks the death of his dad, when Jack was 11.

We were terrified to tell the family of Jack’s FTM transition in fear that they would feel like this would be like another death to them. And sure enough there has been talk of exactly that. Now there are just a few in his family that will talk to us. We’ve been wading through much rejection, and it isn’t easy, in fact it’s heartbreaking for Jack and hurts my feelings that I’m not openly accepted or recognized as an important part of Jack’s life.

I think we’re pretty freaking awesome and have a lot of love to give, but we won’t conform to what others think we should be or do, so often it means, we’re out. This SUCKS!

When Jack and I together made the decision for him to transition, I knew it was right, but had to walk in pure faith all the same.

The fears that came up in me were hellacious. My biggest fear would scream that Jack might not want me anymore. I wondered how the testosterone would make him act. What if it made him mean? I was so afraid.

It took me a while to let go of the idea of “Suzi.” But now, it’s just Jack and it all feels so right! Three months in, and I count this transition as the greatest gift of our lives.

There are days I do break down and cry because I feel so tired of the backlash and fear of other people in regards to how I choose to live my life.

“Can’t you see that I’m more happy than I have every been? Why can’t you see me?”

Sometimes the fears that come up with running a business, being the mother of 6 children, running a home, writing articles, making videos, constantly doing my inner work so that I can stay in alignment and teach, and supporting my husband through his changes, is so overwhelming I feel like I’ll be crushed by the illusions I buy into.

Sometimes my fears get the best of me.

If it weren’t for Jack, as my partner in it all, the one who helps me keep perspective, and for all the details he takes care of, I couldn’t do any of this. He truly makes my life run smooth.

He treats me like a queen.

People see how in love we are and think it’s always been like this.

NO ONE has a clue as to what we’ve had to release and what we’ve had to do to be where we are.

It’s true, we’re deeply in love and have an amazing life but only because we’re willing to do the hardest things you could possibly imagine.

We live a life of trusting God and the universe implicitly.

We were both in difficult marriages to other people for 20 years before we found each other.

When we did find each other, we had to let go of every single way we’d always done things, in order to be together.

Do you know what that was like? OMG! There are no words to describe it, a true fire walk of epic proportions.

The great thing about all of this… We now have the answer to the hard question, “How do you create Relationship Bliss?”

This is part of our authenticity. Make no mistake, our life isn’t just a cup of tea.

It takes effort to choose happiness and live it.

What are you willing to do to be happy?

Are you willing to walk into the unknown?

Can you get real with the people around you?

Can you handle a bit of rejection?

If you said yes to these questions, you will have happiness and bliss!

You can start being authentic here, ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH to tell us one thing that others might not know about you? C’mon, please share down below.

Remember you’re not alone in this life. We’re right here with you, wanting to make things easier.

Loves and kisses,

Tiff