Love is a hot topic, but “relationship” is even hotter, wouldn’t you agree?
“Relationship is the most intense work you’ll ever do…it’s the highest highs, and the lowest lows. It feels like it will exalt you, or destroy you.” Tiffany Rose
Often we’re asked how you can know if this relationship is the “one.” If the person you’re with is the “right” one for you.
There are a many indicators to this relationship being your “one.”
These 4 are very important and should be at the top of your list:
When you met you wildly and madly *attracted to each other. In essence, you couldn’t get enough of each other. [Read through our blog posts to learn more about the importance of the masculine/feminine dynamic in relationship.]
When you’re together you feel a sense of well-being and peace.
You are both 100% committed to your relationship, which means that no matter how mad you get, you’re BOTH committed to working through it.
You want to be the best YOU that you can be, for yourself and your SO (significant other).
So, if you said, “yes,” to these 4 things, you’re most definitely on the right path to relationship happiness.
If you used to be here but no longer enjoy the sweetness of your relationship, it’s time for a tune up and a sit on the red couch may be in order.
Either way, we’re here to help you have a life and relationship you love.
*Enjoying strong sexual chemistry requires one of you being more Masculine Thinking and one of being more Feminine Feeling (being more masculine or more feminine expressed, has absolutely nothing to do with gender).
You may think that Tiff and I never argue or get into conflict.
You’d be mistaken.
Over the past 9 years we’ve been together we’ve worked through MANY conflicts. Some very big and some very small, with a few in between.
Yep, we’re human.
Sorry to burst your bubble like this.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Well, in all of their pictures on facebook, they look so happy and in love.”
Have you ever found yourself dreaming of the day when you have a relationship that feels good all the time? Where there’s no drama or conflict to work through?
The truth is, being in a relationship will be the hardest work you ever do, and the highest of highs and the lowest of lows will be experienced.
So if you find yourself wishing for that day when you live in BLISS, remember the dog days will rear their ugly heads and when that happens, remember this, “Tiff and Jack said they have days like this too, and they work through it, so I know I can too.”
We want you to know that it’s okay to feel like crap some days, and to wonder how in the hell you’ll ever make it through the latest *brouhaha (I just love this word) you’re facing.
a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something.
“24 members resigned over the brouhaha”
In today’s DIY RelationTips video, Tiff and I are getting real, raw, and relevant, and give you the 3 steps necessary to move from wanting to throttle your “other” to feeling that delicious connectivity you love so much.
As you can see, it’s not easy, but it is simple to move from pissed to blissed.
It’s 3 simple steps just like we outlined in the video.
How do you manage your anger? What do you do to calm yourself so that you can move into resolution with your SO (significant other)? Inquiring minds would like to know, share right below this post.
P.S. Know of anyone struggling in their relationship? Please forward this email to your best friends — or anyone who could use a boost of encouragement and direction.
I don’t know about you but the last time I found myself in a position needing to apologize (which was just this morning…but more on that in a minute) I was saying “I’m sorry….BUT.”
Needless to say, my BUT got in the way.
Does your BUT ever get in the way?
As a quick reminder from me (the DM – dominant masculine), we have a million and one reasons why we do everything and anything.
When it comes to owning up to our own s***, and saying sorry, we get a little pig-headed sometimes.
“I’m sorry, BUT…” is translated as, “I don’t really care about your feelings I just want to PROVE why I’m not responsible for my poor behavior or making you feel worse.
I know that you (the DF – dominant feminine) may get tired of hearing the apologies but at the same time it really does matter because when there’s an apology without an excuse attached, it actually gives you hope that there’s some care and concern for your feelings.
Back to my morning snafu.
Tiff and I were having a conversation when Tiff mentioned she didn’t know what I thought about something that I’d been sharing with her and instead of me clarifying, I said, “I already told you, but I’ll tell you again, because you didn’t hear me.”
What I was really saying was, “you don’t listen to me and so I will do you a ‘favor’ and say it again.” (Damn rude!)
Now mind you, I had a million-and-one excuses for my accusatory comment but suffice it to say, me just saying, “I’m sorry for saying that the way I did, it’ not my intention to make you feel bad but I realize that’s exactly what I did with my thoughtless comment, please forgive me.”
A little food for thought.
Everyone does stupid stuff sometimes. There’s no getting around that.
Remember, when you’re apologizing (whether you are the DM or the DF) leave the BUTS out of it.
It makes all the difference.
P.S. How does it make you feel when your SO (significant other) apologizes without any excuses? I’d love to know.
P.P.S. Also if you haven’t taken the quiz already to determine whether you think more like a masculine or more like a feminine, take the quiz right here:
It’s an interesting thing….the masculine thought process.
I’m always working towards completion.
Have you seen this characteristic in the DM before?
I live it on a daily basis.
This past mother’s day was a perfect example of how finality and the masculine go hand-in-hand (in a not-so-pretty way).
I love buying things for Tiff.
Especially to celebrate the beautiful mother that she is to our 6 kids.
I spend time and thought wanting to pick the perfect card.
Have you seen the Papyrus brand of cards? They’re gorgeous.
I stood there forever trying to make my decision.
I found myself coming back to the same card over and over, and after much thought, that’s the one I picked.
I bought it, took it home, and wrote my loving epithets in it.
While Tiff was getting ready for the day, I sneakily placed the card on her pillow so she could see it when walked into the room.
She comes in, sees it, smiles, picks it up, opens it, and with a bit of confusion says, “Did you re-card?”
Talk about the wind getting knocked right out of my sails.
Then she reaches down and pulls last year’s mother’s day card out of her keepsake drawer and guess what??!!!
It’s the same exact card!
Good grief, people!! How does this happen??!
(This is where finality comes into play, please let me explain.)
Tiff laughed and kissed my face telling me how much she loves and adores me and I’m left speechless about the fact I literally gave it my all to pick the perfect card and it was the exact same card as last year.
It was so perfect that I picked it twice. 😉
One of the main characteristics of the DM is enjoying the finality of getting something done.
When it’s done we move on to the next thing (not giving much thought to what was in the past…because it’s already done…hence the Mother’s Day card fiasco).
Note to self:
Lighten up buddy, it happens.
Note to DF:
Thank you for loving us in all of our differences and what would seem to be thoughtlessness when in actuality it’s just a case of finality.
It can be perceived as the DM being insensitive, thoughtless, or oblivious.
Once something is complete it’s put out of our mind.
It’s not insensitivity, it’s moving forward to the next “dragon to slay.”
And if I had to remember every dragon of the past I couldn’t put my whole heart into this one in the here-and-now that’s wanting to annihilate me and the people I love.
Here’s to a new day as the DM in all of our finality.