Today’s message is a message of truth.
Life is meant to be easy.
There’s no need to work yourself to death to have the “easy” life, in fact it’s a fallacy…a big, fat, ugly lie.
The extra great news is that it’s not even up to you to figure out HOW to make it easy. It naturally wants to be that way.
If you’re feeling resistance to this thought, your stomach’s in a knot, or you feel angry at me for saying this, then you know you’re believing something that’s making your life harder.
Our thoughts form our reality.
Thoughts are things.
The easiest and fastest path to feeling better is to remember that there is a Law working in your behalf and it’s the Law of Attraction, which says, “Like attracts like.”
Happy gets more happy and mad gets more mad.
So what to do when you’re having a stupid day and everything seems to be against you?
Pause and reflect upon what’s happening in that very moment, and if it’s something you don’t want, make a choice that you want something else.
Example: You’re in a fight with your significant other–stop and notice how you’re feeling and what’s happening–then say out loud to yourself, what you DO want.
Let me break it down in 3 simple steps.
Step 1: Notice what’s going on and what you don’t want.
Step 2: Then speak out loud what you DO want: “I want to have relief from my angry feelings. I want a peaceful resolution.”
Step 3: LET GO of trying to figure out HOW to have what you do want and ALLOW the Universe to bring it in for you, by trusting that It will.
Visualization Exercise to help you ALLOW the Universe to help:
- See yourself in a boat on a swift stream, and notice you’re paddling with all your might to get upstream because you think that what you want is up there.
- You decide you want it to be easier so you stop rowing, in fact you pull those oars into the boat and allow the power of the stream to turn you around and move you downstream.
- As you look around, you realize that what you wanted is right where you are. The stream carried you to the very place you wanted to be, fighting the current wasn’t even necessary.
- Practice this any time you feel like you’re fighting against life and you’ll find instant relief.
- If it feels to scary to try this with the big things, try it with the little things and you’ll start building your “trust” muscles and life will get easier and easier…of course, if that’s what you truly want.
May you feel a deep sense of relief this day and every day knowing that you’re not alone and the Universe has your back!
We know that everyone gets stuck now-and-then when it comes to doing things that affect positive change in your intimate relationship.
Everyone finds themselves in old ruts and patterns where your relationship begins to feel a bit, well…stale. The Modern Relationship is a whole new ballgame, all of the “old” rules no longer apply.
Intimate relationship is our specialty and we’re going to make it super simple for you. Here are 7 things that you can do easily, that will instantly spark passion in your relationship.
The only thing required, is that you actually take the time to do it.
1. LOOK & LISTEN
How well do you listen to your SO (significant other) when they’re talking to you? Come on be honest now.
Do you stop what you’re doing, look at them right in the eyeballs, and listen carefully to what they’re saying?
Life gets busy and crazy and it’s very easy to disregard the person talking to you because you have a million other things on your mind. This is no excuse folks, everyone has crap they’re dealing with all the time.
Your SO deserves your full attention when they’re talking to you.
If it’s not a good time for you to chat, be clear on WHEN would be a better time, and stick to your word.
If you want intimacy, passion, and awesome sex w/your SO, you MUST listen when they speak, this is a basic foundational piece to your happy relationship puzzle.
- Don’t try to figure out what to say while they’re talking.
- Don’t interrupt them.
- Don’t get distracted looking at your phone or TV.
Your assignment: When your SO is talking to you, stop what you’re doing STARE into their eyes, and really LISTEN.
2. TOUCH ME PLEASE!!
We live in a culture and country where touching each other is minimal. Go visit Spain, Italy or a myriad of other countries and notice how every person you meet is either kissing you on the cheeks or hugging you and breathing your scent in. Here in America, you’re lucky if you get eye contact.
Let’s break this barrier down, shall we?!
Everyone needs to feel the touch of someone they love and that loves them. It says, “I love you and want you.”
When you walk past your person, reach out and touch them every time they’re within reach.
We’re not saying you have to throw them to the floor and make love every time you see them (well, you can if that’s what you both want), but we are saying it’s extremely beneficial to reach your arm out towards your lover and brush them on the shoulder or kiss them on the cheek as you walk past them.
It’s not hard and it feels good.
When you’re watching TV together at the end of a long day, sit close enough to touch so you can smell their perfume or cologne and reach out and caress their hand or hair.
Touch saves lives. Babies that go without touch can actually die because of it and so can a relationship.
It’s simple! And makes all the difference.
3. DO WHAT YOU LOVE
Are you doing something you love, every single day? Something that opens you up and gives you the opportunity to be more of Who You REALLY Are?
It could be yoga, tai chi, dancing, gardening, going for a run, listening to music that makes you feel alive! Maybe it’s walking the dog, hiking, lifting weights, meditating, writing, reading, etc… just do it.
If you will do something that you feel passionate about each and every day, you’ll be more of yourself and more open to give and receive love. You’ll feel more fulfilled and your heart will be wide open to the world around you.
(If you’re struggling finding something that lights your fire, ask the Universe or your Angels to help you find it or it to find you, and trust us, you will.)
When you’re in conversation with your SO ask them questions about what they’re sharing. This is easy if they’re sharing something that’s deeply interesting to you, you’ll have tons of questions pop up. But when your SO is sharing something more personal and talking about their feelings or thoughts it can be more difficult, but this is where you ask THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.
- Ask the DF (dominant feminine thinker): “How does that make you feel?”
- Ask the DM (dominant masculine thinker): “What do you think about that?”
When you ask this question, you’re sure to learn something new about your person that you didn’t know. And the more you know about each other, the easier it is to say and do things for them that make a huge difference.
For example, because I (Jack) pay attention and want to know Tiff’s likes and dislikes, I know that she does NOT like ice cream (except very occasionally she wants a soft serve twist cone…without the cone of course) so now when I want to bring a treat home for her I will bring caramels, pomegranate seeds (already shelled), or the old standby, a Reese’s Crunchy Big Peanut Butter Cup. All because I listen.
Listening pays off in HUGE ways.
Oh and don’t try to finish their sentences because you THINK you know what they’re going to say (I’ve (Jack) been so guilty of this and can tell you I’m getting better and better at zipping my f—— lip). Rarely will you get it right so just zip the lip and pay attention.
TOP SECRET INFO:
The DF wants to know that they captivate you and that they’re desired. The DM wants to know that they please you and are appreciated for what they do.
5. KISS ME DEEP
We couldn’t EVER write an article about the simple things you can do to make a big difference in your relationship, without bringing up kissing, now can we?!!
Kissing is vital.
When is the last time you kissed your SO in a way that stopped them in their tracks? If it has been longer than 24 hours, REPENT NOW! Go find them right now and kiss them like you mean it, damn it!
When you’re kissing, KISS DEEP and take your time.
Don’t think about bills, or what you need to get done, just kiss… and FEEL it all the way through your body right down to your toes.
6. STOP THE BULLSHIT
Stop telling yourself stories!!! We tell ourselves about what we THINK the other person means when they ask you a question, make a comment, or give you that certain look. The stories we tell ourselves creates conflict faster than a speeding bullet. Wow!
Maybe your SO walks into the room you’re sitting in, watching Outlander (an awesome series about past lives, Scottish men in kilts, and lots of sex) or another show you love, and they give you “the look,” you know “the look” and instantly you jump into defensive mode and get your shorts in a knot because you feel like you’re being judged in some way, only to have your SO then explain that she/he had a question about something wholly unrelated to you doing some wrong. Can you say, “Asshat?”
When we assume we know what the other person is thinking and make up a story about it, we’ll always get into trouble, and have to deal with a new conflict. No thank you I would rather not.
Stop the story telling, plain and simple.
This is where asking questions is vital to your happy relationshipping.
7. JUST SAY IT
No we’re not talking about telling your SO every single thing they do that pisses you off, we’re talking about sharing the things you LOVE about your SO. Oftentimes we think in our mind how sexy we find our SO, or how good they smell or how much we appreciate the fact that they scraped the snow off our car and warmed it up for us before leaving for work. Instead of keeping this thought in your mind only, open your sexy mouth, and let it out. Speak it to your ONE.
Kind words of love and appreciation go a very LONG way.
I know that for me (the DM) when Tiff says to me how much she appreciates the fact that I bring her treats, or that I have thrown a load of laundry in or getting the bills paid, it makes me want to be better and do more.
The DM loves to know that what they’re doing is making a positive difference in the life of their DF.
And the DF needs to know how sexy you find them. Does the way they smell just turn you on? And make you want to eat them for dinner?? When you look at your DF and the clothes they’re wearing or the way they’ve done their makeup or hair revs your engine, open your mouth and tell them. The DF wants to know they slay you, that they’re captivating and have your attention.
It’s just so simple.
Say the positive things you think about each other TO each other!
Here’s a quick recap…
- LOOK & LISTEN
- TOUCH ME PLEASE
- DO WHAT YOU LOVE
- KISS ME DEEP
- STOP THE BULLSHIT
- JUST SAY IT
There you have it! Now go be amazing!!!
Sending you every good thing.
Tiff & Jack
P.S. We’re delighted to share some of the juicy insider secrets about our “modern” relationship. We’ll also help you understand why it’s critical for you to know if you’re more masculine thinking or more feminine thinking and why having one of each is the only way to have wild passion in your relationship. CLICK THE YELLOW BOX FOR YOUR FREE GIFT…
Launching on April 21, 2016, Heather Ellis Drake and Ginny Jones of New Zealand, host: HEALERS UNITED GLOBAL SUMMIT.
Join us for the phenomena of Miracle Healing that is now being experienced around the Globe.
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I’m the person that has the rare privilege of knowing Tiffany Ann Rose better than most, on this lovely planet, and what a gift she is.
I’m the person that watches her do kitchen magic as she prepares love-infused food for those with hearts that ache with loss and grief.
I’m the one that hears all about the nights she lays awake sending healing energy to those that are in pain.
I’m the one that knows her deepest fears and insecurities, and no matter how afraid she feels she still shares her message without faltering.
I’m the one that understands how much physical pain she’s endured and gets up and does whatever needs to be done anyway (without complaining, I might add).
I’m the one that knows how deeply the words spoken by her teacher, “no wonder your dad left, you’re such a bad little girl,” cut into her tender 6 year old heart.
I’m the one that understands how the standing ovation she got for a song she wrote and played for the whole school at age 10 still stands as one of the highlights of her life.
I’m the one that knows what she felt as a 14 year old being chased and beaten up by a group of girls from church.
I’m the one that understands how sweet her heart is and the vastness of her love.
I’m the one that wakes to her dulcet voice and luscious touch every morning.
I’m the one with her undying support and endless encouragement to be true to myself even if it means going from Suzi to Jack…my God, where did this woman come from??!
I’m the one totally and completely smitten and captive to her elegance and beauty, and proud to say it.
And I’m the one that wishes for you, to have all your heart yearns for, including someone one as magnificent as Tiffany.
P.S. And I know with certainty that a joy-filled life is for you too, no doubt about it.
I’m continually open to know what the topic for today’s blogpost is going to be and this one was no exception. Last week I talked about the beautiful, creative, color-filled DF (dominant feminine thinker) energy and how easy it is to love.
This week the DM (dominant masculine thinker) keeps coming to mind. What does it look like to live as a DM?
I’ve been seeing so clearly how my way of being a DM directly impacts the sexy DF in my life (yes, that would be Tiffany I’m talking about…as if you didn’t already know that). 😉
I’ve come a long way with cherishing Tiff’s feelings and treating her in a way that gives her the opportunity to live with a heart wide open, unafraid to express her wild and lovely self.
Today I’m speaking more to the DM, because I have some things to say to you.
We tag today’s intimate relationship with the word “modern.”
We call it “modern” because we have left gender roles FAR BEHIND. There’s no place for them here. You see, you may be a man and a dominant feminine thinker. You may be a woman and a dominant masculine thinker. You may be gay, straight or transgender. You may be pansexual (you love the person “inside” not their gender). I could go on-and-on because there are a million new labels and terminology to help us understand one another even better. It doesn’t matter what your label is, you have feminine and masculine characteristic thoughts and traits inside of you, of which you may draw upon in different circumstances at at different times, but one of those will most often be dominant.
The #1 place that requires your understanding of the DM/DF world is in your intimate relationship. One person must be expressing more masculine and one expressing more feminine in order to experience sexual chemistry, powerful attraction, and wild passion. Tiff and I talk endlessly to this point…it’s the truth, and makes all the difference in relationship.
We want to make it easy and clear for you to understand yourself and your relationship even better.
Now, it’s important to understand your own dominant energy and what feels the best to you. Most people will be one or the other more dominant (however there are a few people that exress both evenly and usually won’t be looking for intense sexual pleasure and attraction to the other person, they’ll simply enjoy being more like roommates. This is just fine if that’s what you want. We want you to have what you want.
For me, the burning desire for intense physical chemistry between myself and Tiff, feels the best. This is what I want and this is what I have. It hasn’t come easily until we figured ourselves out and what made our relationship the sweet nectar that it is.
You must be wondering why I titled this post, “The birth of our baby…,” I’m getting there, stick with me.
Being there for the birth of grand baby Tulip was one of the most sacred experiences I’ve ever had. Yes, I birthed 4 babies (and I’m a man…pretty impressive huh! That’s part of what being transgender has given me…I have a deep understanding of both sides of the equation), and never in my life did I know what it would feel like to stand next to our beautiful daughter, Victoria as she brought little Tulip (her given name is Ember but we call her Tulip) into the world. I had the rare privilege of standing right next to Victoria, holding one of her legs while she gave every single ounce of strength she had to bring this beautiful baby into the world.
As I watched her push and push and push, and the doctor telling her to push harder and not stop, I wondered if she could take it. Victoria’s face was deep red, she was sweating, and straining, and giving what appeared to be her very life…I could see Ember’s head beginning to crown and I knew that Victoria didn’t know how close she was, I kept reassuring her that she could do this, and how strong and amazing she was, that she was so close to having the baby here, if she could just push as hard as she could a few seconds longer, she would have the relief that seemed to me to be a life or death matter.
My eyes and mind beheld the power of Woman, and I was overcome by the magnificence of it all.
Our daughter, giving birth to our granddaughter and I was right there, bird’s eye view, keeping sweet Victoria at the top of my attention and seeing our baby having a baby, never will I be the same man I was before that moment. The sacredness of life showing itself to me, right in front of my face.
Drawing upon my own experience of having babies and wondering how close I was when I pushing with all of my strength and not knowing for sure if I could make it, I knew how to talk to Victoria and tell her what I could see, that I knew she was seconds away, if she could just keep pushing a few seconds more she’d be done and have her baby in her arms. “Give it all you’ve got Victoria, the baby’s head is coming out, you’ve got this sweetheart, just a few seconds more…”
There’s nothing else that wakes us up like the love we feel for each other.
Yesterday after visiting with our almost 10 month old, Tulip and her mama, Tiff shared again how much it meant to her to watch me standing and encouraging Victoria as she gave birth, and it was then that I realized this would be the topic of today’s post.
The DF doesn’t want to be treated like a comrade and partner in crime, they want to be cherished and held, and reminded that they aren’t alone, that they’re beautiful and strong and capable. That they capture our hearts. That our hearts and minds and bodies are right there with them whether they’re birthing a child, a new book, or a piece of art, and that we’re they’re greatest advocate and support.
That we SEE and understand their courageous, colorful, and oftentimes emotional, approach to life.
The DF wants to know how she/he colors our world, how they make a difference to us.
Being a DM is knowing that you have what it takes to give comfort and love to the DF.
Knowing and understanding your own personal power is a place of safety and strength for the DF to hold onto when her/his world feels ever-changing and without continuity. The DM is a place that doesn’t shift and change with every wind that comes along. This solid knowing that you can do this, is like the star to the wandering ship upon the sea of change.
The DF is ever moving and changing and feels comfort and safety with the DM that can look into their eyes and remind them that everything will come together just fine, “Just one more push, and you’ll feel so much better.”
As a DM you may wonder how to find your strength…let me tell you a little secret…it’s inside of you, and has always been there. If you believe in God, or the Universe, or your Higher Self, and you’re feeling less than solid, ask for assistance to see Who You Really Are, and to live from that place.
You can indeed do this. The whole world waits for you to do this. You’re the one we’re waiting for.
Practice knowing that you have what it takes. I’m telling you, it’s a mindset, and you get to choose it or not. You can feel like a failure and like you’re a piece of trash if you want to, or you can CHOOSE to live as your arrow-like self, on a straight path of power and purpose.
The DF knows you have what it takes, do you?
And I say it one more time . . . It’s a choice.
Believe me I know, I choose it every single day.
I choose to live from my place of wholeness, knowing that no matter what door seems to close, another door is always opening. I choose to trust that God always has my back. I know that I get every single thing I want. Did someone give this knowing to me?? Nope, I choose to know this, and I do.
It’s a choice.
What do you choose?
I often say how enamored I am by the tremendous power you wield.
Time-and-again you’re the one that most often finds your way to the Red Couch to clear your limiting thoughts, and to me this bespeaks tenacity and vision.
What a joy you are!
I’m astounded by the power I see before my eyes as you open your heart to share your deepest pains and desires.
The agony drips down your cheeks and you share how scary it feels to allow yourself to open your heart again-and-again, wondering if you’ll ever have someone to stand with you in your fear, holding you and loving you and seeing you, without trying to fix you.
There’s nothing to fix. You aren’t broken.
You’re whole and complete and beautiful. You breathe life into our world.
What you call your “mess,” I call nothing short of a miracle.
You steal my heart.
You’re the weather. Dark storm clouds rolling through, raindrops pelting down, only to find the brilliant sun piercing through the sky moments after. Beauty.
You live from love, desiring connection more than life itself.
“When will I ever be understood?” You say.
Your feelings do matter, even when no one is there to wrap you up and remind you how divine you are.
Sweet DF, your heart rules the world, because the only thing that’s really real is love, and you are love.
Sometimes we (the DM) get so lost sprinting towards the proverbial finish line that we forget we’re here to have joy.
You are joy in human form, and you being you, wakes the rest of us up…fast!
Thank you for being you, for without you, there is nothing. Life is stiff and straight, with no brilliant hues to stop us dead in our tracks and remind us what’s real.
You’re seen and understood.