Putting Others First Leaves You Angry

Putting Others First Leaves You Angry

Putting others first, keeps you stuck and angry. One of our daughters showed me this meme that she found on Instagram.

I was deeply disturbed!

As a person that lives a Life of JOY, a teacher of joyful living, a spiritual healer, mother of 6 and a wife, I can honestly tell you that putting others first and yourself last, will NEVER bring you joy. EVER!

On occasion you may put another’s needs before your own in a complicated situation, but if you live this way on a regular basis you’ll become full of dis-ease.

Putting others first leaves you feeling sick, worn out, in pain, depressed, anxious, and fatigued. Ugh!!

You’ll also feel disconnected from Source Energy and most of all, you’ll feel like a victim. In essence, you’ll be pissed as hell that others aren’t as thoughtful or as considerate as you are.

Jesus was a great spiritual teacher that taught us to love.

We are love.

When someone tries to put Jesus first, they are lost in an illusion because we are what he is, LOVE, it’s already done.

Loving ourselves first, fills us up so that we can love others.

A codependent person often puts others first before themselves, because they hope others will put them first. When they don’t, you feel abandoned, betrayed, and deeply wounded.

The meme I’ve shared is a recipe of true unhappiness and poor health.

Jack and I live a service mission and the only way we can do that is by making sure we have what we need and want FIRST, so that we’re happy and energized. If we were to do our work tired and lethargic, waiting for others to take care of our needs, we would feel like crap and resent our life.

Make the decision to stop putting yourself last. Give it a try, you might like it!

Finding yourself in a pile on the floor wondering why someone’s not there to pick you up is the fastest indicator you’ve been putting yourself last.

Let’s love and have JOY by loving ourselves first.

JOY  noun

1. a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

“tears of joy”

synonyms: delight, great pleasure, joyfulness, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, happiness, gladness, glee, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss

May you have joy today, tomorrow, and every day thereafter! Put yourself first!!

Love and Kisses,


Balance is a state of mind…

Balance is a state of mind…

Balance is a state of mind.

Life is continually changing. Unexpected Surprises are always popping up. So how are we supposed to find balance in this ever-changing life experience?

There’s quite a lot of talk about finding balance in life. LOL. Well…BALANCE has been quite an elusive goal I’ve chased for many years, and finally have this beast figured out.

What I’ve come to realize is that achieving balance is a state of mind.

The simple truth is… when you don’t make time for yourself to do and be what feels joyful to you, you will feel off kilter, no balance whatsoever.

As the DF (*Dominant Feminine feeler), wife, mother, and business owner, I have a lot going on around me, in fact there’s never a dull moment.

If I’m not watchful, I could easily get distracted by other’s stories, wants and expectations of me.

I’m not a big fan of living for other people. I make choices based on what feels the best to me, not what feels the best to others.

Some may call me selfish, I call myself a conscious creator. I do not live out of duty, and refuse to be controlled by guilt or any other illusionary tactic.

I know that, as a conscious creator, in order to feel balance, I must design my life in a way that supports my desires.

There are very specific things that I do every day to keep myself enlivened and connected to life.

First and foremost I make sure that my connection with Source is solid–every single day I take time to clear my energy so that I can feel that oneness I have with the God of my understanding. (I pray, meditate, set my intentions, and read books that keep my brain strong in the abundance of life.) Once I’ve done this I’m ready to start the day in an empowered way.

I also take care of me by eating right, exercising, and taking time to look and smell delicious! I love to be captivating.

I then remind myself of my boundaries and priorities. Remembering what I will and will not do each day. This is very important to my sense of balance.

My  priority after centering myself, is Jack. Oh just the thought of him fuels me with passion and fire. And as a love centered DF, my relationship with sexy Jack is an important part of my happiness and peace. He’s my teammate, lover, most cherished friend, and co-creator. Keeping this relationship healthy is critical to success and balance in my life.

My next priority is my children. As a mother of six children there’s always a lot to think about with our kids. And now we’ve moved into the realm of grandbabies. This brings much joy into my life and it is extremely important for me to stay connected to all of my babies including my in-laws.

Jack and I have designed our home to be a place that is all inclusive. Where only love is allowed. We absolutely do not allow chaos, bickering, fighting, or back biting into our space. We celebrate each one of our children in their differences and that is just how it is. This takes much of my time because that’s how I choose it to be.

My next priority is our business. This is where I get to live my mission and make a difference in the world. This gives me a feeling of fulfillment and joy as offer my gift of love to the world.

After all this,  I have free time to enjoy other things. And I choose those things very consciously.


  1. Center yourself every day.
  2. Make sure you’re clear on your boundaries and priorities (your boundaries and priorities are going to be different than anyone else’s).
  3. Remember that you aren’t here to live by someone else’s rules. You are here to create your own experience. (In essence it doesn’t matter what other people think so let it go.)
  4. Also remember that as you evolve, so do your priorities and boundaries. Everything is always moving and changing so don’t be alarmed when the things you desired change as well. That is the beauty of life.
  5. And last but not least live as authentic as you can. When you allow yourself to be seen in the truth of who you are, it gives courage and empowers others to do the same.

Now the question to ask yourself is, “What can I do to become the conscious creator of my own life? What is it that I really want?” Then, do that and you’ll find more balance than you can imagine.



P.S. Where do you feel like you get most out of balance in your life?