I’m continually open to know what the topic for today’s blogpost is going to be and this one was no exception. Last week I talked about the beautiful, creative, color-filled DF (dominant feminine thinker) energy and how easy it is to love.
This week the DM (dominant masculine thinker) keeps coming to mind. What does it look like to live as a DM?
I’ve been seeing so clearly how my way of being a DM directly impacts the sexy DF in my life (yes, that would be Tiffany I’m talking about…as if you didn’t already know that). 😉
I’ve come a long way with cherishing Tiff’s feelings and treating her in a way that gives her the opportunity to live with a heart wide open, unafraid to express her wild and lovely self.
Today I’m speaking more to the DM, because I have some things to say to you.
We tag today’s intimate relationship with the word “modern.”
We call it “modern” because we have left gender roles FAR BEHIND. There’s no place for them here. You see, you may be a man and a dominant feminine thinker. You may be a woman and a dominant masculine thinker. You may be gay, straight or transgender. You may be pansexual (you love the person “inside” not their gender). I could go on-and-on because there are a million new labels and terminology to help us understand one another even better. It doesn’t matter what your label is, you have feminine and masculine characteristic thoughts and traits inside of you, of which you may draw upon in different circumstances at at different times, but one of those will most often be dominant.
The #1 place that requires your understanding of the DM/DF world is in your intimate relationship. One person must be expressing more masculine and one expressing more feminine in order to experience sexual chemistry, powerful attraction, and wild passion. Tiff and I talk endlessly to this point…it’s the truth, and makes all the difference in relationship.
We want to make it easy and clear for you to understand yourself and your relationship even better.
Now, it’s important to understand your own dominant energy and what feels the best to you. Most people will be one or the other more dominant (however there are a few people that exress both evenly and usually won’t be looking for intense sexual pleasure and attraction to the other person, they’ll simply enjoy being more like roommates. This is just fine if that’s what you want. We want you to have what you want.
For me, the burning desire for intense physical chemistry between myself and Tiff, feels the best. This is what I want and this is what I have. It hasn’t come easily until we figured ourselves out and what made our relationship the sweet nectar that it is.
You must be wondering why I titled this post, “The birth of our baby…,” I’m getting there, stick with me.
Being there for the birth of grand baby Tulip was one of the most sacred experiences I’ve ever had. Yes, I birthed 4 babies (and I’m a man…pretty impressive huh! That’s part of what being transgender has given me…I have a deep understanding of both sides of the equation), and never in my life did I know what it would feel like to stand next to our beautiful daughter, Victoria as she brought little Tulip (her given name is Ember but we call her Tulip) into the world. I had the rare privilege of standing right next to Victoria, holding one of her legs while she gave every single ounce of strength she had to bring this beautiful baby into the world.
As I watched her push and push and push, and the doctor telling her to push harder and not stop, I wondered if she could take it. Victoria’s face was deep red, she was sweating, and straining, and giving what appeared to be her very life…I could see Ember’s head beginning to crown and I knew that Victoria didn’t know how close she was, I kept reassuring her that she could do this, and how strong and amazing she was, that she was so close to having the baby here, if she could just push as hard as she could a few seconds longer, she would have the relief that seemed to me to be a life or death matter.
My eyes and mind beheld the power of Woman, and I was overcome by the magnificence of it all.
Our daughter, giving birth to our granddaughter and I was right there, bird’s eye view, keeping sweet Victoria at the top of my attention and seeing our baby having a baby, never will I be the same man I was before that moment. The sacredness of life showing itself to me, right in front of my face.
Drawing upon my own experience of having babies and wondering how close I was when I pushing with all of my strength and not knowing for sure if I could make it, I knew how to talk to Victoria and tell her what I could see, that I knew she was seconds away, if she could just keep pushing a few seconds more she’d be done and have her baby in her arms. “Give it all you’ve got Victoria, the baby’s head is coming out, you’ve got this sweetheart, just a few seconds more…”
There’s nothing else that wakes us up like the love we feel for each other.
Yesterday after visiting with our almost 10 month old, Tulip and her mama, Tiff shared again how much it meant to her to watch me standing and encouraging Victoria as she gave birth, and it was then that I realized this would be the topic of today’s post.
The DF doesn’t want to be treated like a comrade and partner in crime, they want to be cherished and held, and reminded that they aren’t alone, that they’re beautiful and strong and capable. That they capture our hearts. That our hearts and minds and bodies are right there with them whether they’re birthing a child, a new book, or a piece of art, and that we’re they’re greatest advocate and support.
That we SEE and understand their courageous, colorful, and oftentimes emotional, approach to life.
The DF wants to know how she/he colors our world, how they make a difference to us.
Being a DM is knowing that you have what it takes to give comfort and love to the DF.
Knowing and understanding your own personal power is a place of safety and strength for the DF to hold onto when her/his world feels ever-changing and without continuity. The DM is a place that doesn’t shift and change with every wind that comes along. This solid knowing that you can do this, is like the star to the wandering ship upon the sea of change.
The DF is ever moving and changing and feels comfort and safety with the DM that can look into their eyes and remind them that everything will come together just fine, “Just one more push, and you’ll feel so much better.”
As a DM you may wonder how to find your strength…let me tell you a little secret…it’s inside of you, and has always been there. If you believe in God, or the Universe, or your Higher Self, and you’re feeling less than solid, ask for assistance to see Who You Really Are, and to live from that place.
You can indeed do this. The whole world waits for you to do this. You’re the one we’re waiting for.
Practice knowing that you have what it takes. I’m telling you, it’s a mindset, and you get to choose it or not. You can feel like a failure and like you’re a piece of trash if you want to, or you can CHOOSE to live as your arrow-like self, on a straight path of power and purpose.
The DF knows you have what it takes, do you?
And I say it one more time . . . It’s a choice.
Believe me I know, I choose it every single day.
I choose to live from my place of wholeness, knowing that no matter what door seems to close, another door is always opening. I choose to trust that God always has my back. I know that I get every single thing I want. Did someone give this knowing to me?? Nope, I choose to know this, and I do.
It’s a choice.
What do you choose?