You probably have a pretty good idea of what someone acting butt-hurt looks like, but today I’m going to paint the picture especially for you.
Being the masculine half of the Tiff & Jack duo, I have firsthand experience with being butt-hurt.
I know when Tiff says to me, “Can I share something,” my ego is in trouble, which of course is the precursor to the infamous butt-hurt moments.
I hate acting butt-hurt, it’s a damn pain in the ass. My ego gets all up-in-arms wanting to prove why “I’m right, and they’re wrong.”
May I get even a bit more personal with you?
The other morning I had showered, eaten breakfast, taken the dog for a walk, kissed Tiff’s sweet lips, and headed out the door ready for a great day of building our website and working on our online relationship program.
I had just dropped our son off at school and was getting ready to drive to the office, happy about getting such an early start, when the infamous *ding ding* chimed on my iPhone, I look down and see Tiffany’s name and instantly I realized I had dropped the ball.
Oh, it gets worse!
The day before I had lovingly told Tiff I would get the dinner dishes done, and pick up some coconut milk in the morning after I dropped Anders off at school.
Guess what . . . I forgot both things! Shit!! I was in trouble and I had no excuse, but believe you me, I searched until I thought I had found a really great “reason” that I had not kept my word.
My text to her:
I’m in a state of huge amounts of thought and energy with everything going on, business, and getting emails out. I am coming home to do the dishes right now. I’m sorry.
Her text to me:
Sorry doesn’t cut it, I need to know that I can count on what you say you’ll do. If you aren’t really planning on it, don’t offer. This makes me feel like you don’t really appreciate me or care about my feelings. I honestly feel like work is your priority and I’m not, and that doesn’t work for me.
Adrenaline gushed through my guts.
I drove home . . . pissed as hell, and did the dishes, with a chip the size of Texas on my shoulder.
Butt-hurt all the way!
Who was I pissed at?
Was it Tiff for being clear about how she struggled to trust what I say when I don’t follow through?
Or was I pissed at myself because I hadn’t followed through, and the precious feelings of my feminine peach were caught in the crosshairs of my ignoramus ways?
The harder I tried to prove myself innocent, the more butt-hurt I got.
I couldn’t come up with 1 damn thing as to why it wasn’t my fault.
I said I would do those things and I didn’t. It was as simple as that.
I do understand that you, the feminine, need to be able to count on your masculine partner to do what they say they’ll do. Hence, your feelings are cherished.
What is the #1 way your feelings are cherished? (If you will be so kind as to share right below this post, all of everyone else will be so happy to hear from you.)
When your feelings are cherished by your masculine partner, your trust grows, allowing you to be more vulnerable and open to receiving what the masculine wants so badly to give you.
It took me about half a day to unravel my butt-hurt and get back to center.
My take-away: Be Impeccable!
And if you make a mistake, apologize, but even more importantly get your actions in alignment with your priorities, and STOP the excuses.
Excuses do nothing more than emasculate you, and turn your feminine partner away in disgust.
I want Tiff to know that I adore her and the fastest and easiest way to do that is by doing what I say I’m going to do.
I could hit the million dollar gross revenue mark and if I forget the milk, I have missed the whole effing boat.
Life is about love.
Love is about connection.
And connection is all about me cherishing the feelings of my beloved.
Oh, and don’t forget the godamned milk!
It makes ALL the difference.
Hope to see you in the comments below, because I want to know all about your feelings and how you feel cherished.
I’m having one of those unexpected sacred moments, and would love to share it with you.
Today I’m doing a bunch of spring cleaning in our home. I love the feeling of newness it brings. The old dust from the winter being cleared out and smell of baby blossoms wafting through the open windows.
Spring cleaning also gives me time to ponder about life and love.
To me, love is the driving force of my existence.
I thrive on thinking about all the ways I can love.
I love to give hugs and kisses, make delicious food, decorate our home, have parties, and teach others how to live a life of joy in their romantic partnerships. When I’m not doing all those things, I’m usually watching Little House on the Prairie or Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman while I fold laundry.
Okay, now back to my spring cleaning story.
As I was dusting the coffee table, I noticed Jack’s trail running shoes sitting underneath. As I picked them up to put them back in the closet, I was overcome with my sacred moment.
It was a surreal moment when I realized what the shoes represent.
I bought these shoes for Jack on Valentine’s Day because one of her favorite things to do is go up to the mountain trails to connect with God and to run.
I am deeply grateful for those mountain trail times of Jack’s.
When she goes to the mountain, she comes back centered in her strength and filled with clarity, purpose and passion. This sustains me in a huge way. I guess you could say it makes me feel very safe, and I love to feel safe.
The shoes also represent all that we have walked through to be together.
We had to buy very heavy duty shoes so they could withstand the heat of the fires we have walked through.
Living in the masculine and feminine dynamic is no easy feat unless you understand the brilliance and beauty of each dominant energy and how they work together.
I had the hardest time understanding the masculine. I felt masculine energy was cold and insensitive. Boy was I mistaken. Once I understood that masculine energy is driven by purpose, and that my energy, which is feminine, is driven by love, it was much easier to see how they could come together to create wholeness and deep intimacy.
When you have the strength of purpose and flow of love in your relationship dynamic, you will find a balance within partnership that can become a passion-filled, delicious experience.
Being a dominant feminine energy all I ever wanted was to find someone that I was madly in love with, that was captivated by my beauty and gifts of love.
Well, I got all of that with Jack . . . and more.
Because Jack is driven by her purpose it gives me the ability to relax in my “love creation” energy.
Jack is out slaying the dragon while I am creating beautiful things in my love space.
What do you create in your love space?
When Jack is done slaying for the day, she comes home with her dragon offering to my space of love and the gifts I give, and there we relish in each other.
There is nothing more that I could want, day after day, and year after year.
I love this life experience so much that part of the gift of love that I offer to the world, is to teach other feminine energies how to experience joy as they live in the feminine and masculine dynamic.
If you ask me life just doesn’t get better than that.
Funny… All these thoughts from my sacred moment with Jack’s shoes. 🙂
We would love to hear what you are creating in your love space today? Please share.
Peace & Sparkles,
Are you like Tiffany, and tuck your pillows into your suitcase when travelling, because you know you just can’t sleep as comfortably without them?
This is something I didn’t understand until Tiff and I spent our first night together, and it took 2 trips to the car to get her stuff AND her pillows.
Thus began my love affair with Tiff, and of course, her pillows (there isn’t one without the other).
These aren’t just any pillows.
These pillows have a story.
In the dark nights of depression, her pillows were there.
In the depth of pain, from a body that never quit hurting, the pillows were there.
When shock therapy left her debilitated by the pain in her head, her pillows were there.
When the cries of her newborn babes echoed down the halls, her pillows were there.
When I had to go to my own home at night, her pillows were there.
When I see Tiff sound asleep all snuggled into her pillows, I know all is right with the world.
Pillows are such a simple thing yet so important, as I’ve learned by loving Tiff and her soft, delicious, feminine ways.
I swear to you that this heart of mine was uniquely crafted to love Tiffany and her sweet pillows.
These pillows matter.
When I wasn’t… the pillows were there.
What about you, do you take your pillows on vacation? Please share.
May you find soft comfort in your life today.
We are asked all the time, “Are you really as happy as you look?” Our answer is a resounding, “YES!”
Does that mean we don’t ever have conflict? Nope.
We understand and live the masculine/feminine dynamic and have the communication tools to work through any issue that comes up.
The result is a life of wild, passion-filled intimacy.
We know that there is an epidemic of relationship breakdown happening, and it’s our happy pleasure to make a huge difference in your life.
If you are feeling alone and struggle to live out as your vulnerable self, we are here to help.
When you were young, were you excited about a life of rainbows and sparkles? What happened??
I died once. Yes, it’s true. I lived dead for a long time.
Please don’t feel sad for me, I was revived.
This rebirth is the greatest story of my life.
As I look on my revival it is plain see what was happening. I was being healed and liberated by a powerful presence in my life, I call her, Jack (or Suzi, as you know her).
I had no idea that another person held the keys to my liberation.
Each person born comes with a dominant feminine energy or a dominant masculine energy. Yes, we do have both inside of us, but one of them will be dominant. In relationship, it takes opposite energies coming together to create passion, balance, and healing in each other.
Masculine and feminine energy have nothing to do with body parts.
There are both masculine men and women, just as there are feminine men and women. And for your information, a feminine man does not mean a gay man and a masculine woman doesn’t mean a gay woman.
It’s all about energy.
I am a dominant feminine energy, and Jack is a dominant masculine energy, and this is our love story.
My death was slow in coming, all-in-all it took about 36 years for me to take my last breath.
I realized I was lifeless when I was sitting on my couch at over 300 pounds with a heart monitor strapped to my chest, while my feelings of utter desperation turned to numb blankness.
I had forgotten that I wanted to live.
This began when I was very young. All I wanted to do was whirl and twirl in my yellow princess dress while giggling, day dreaming, and chattering.
I wanted to be admired and praised. I so desperately wanted to be captivating and pleasing. I loved to flit around as though I was walking on air. I was full of emotion and I begged for movement.
I craved the feeling of unabashed freedom so I rode my bike fast as the wind whipped through my wild hair and kissed my cheeks.
Everything felt so mystical and sparkly.
However, as many of us do, I found myself in the middle of unexpected tragedy.
I took off my princess dress.
The sparkles faded, and I forgot about whimsy.
Sadness stole my memories of magic and it was getting harder and harder to recall. I would still ride my bike on occasion to try to remember.
Let’s fast-forward 30 years shall we?
Living most of my life in less than ideal conditions, I found myself walking into Overeater’s Anonymous feeling sick, fat, and ashamed of my reflection. This was my last ditch effort to save my life.
The revival began . . . this is where I found my Jack.
Oh Jack, you saved my life!
You took my wilted heart and breathed new life into it by saying 3 simple words, “I see you.”
For the next three years we were inseparable. We talked and talked and talked. I learned so much about myself at that time. I began to remember the Magic! I was being awakened.
I don’t think Jack knew that she was healing me by asking how I felt about this and that, and actually being interested in what I said.
I don’t think Jack understood that every time she said she believed in me, that it made it possible for me to go off all of my medications for depression and arthritis.
I don’t think Jack realized that by her adoring me, I started to release weight.
I don’t think Jack equated her strength and confidence as the very platform that made it possible for me to feel safe enough to live vulnerable and empowered.
I know for a fact that Jack had no idea that standing strong in her masculine presence made it possible for me to feel safe enough to allow my feminine essence to breath again.
Living in my vulnerable empowered feminine essence feels so bright and sparkly.
What an unexpected surprise to fall in love with magic again.
I had no idea the presence of the masculine could heal my life.
The Masculine carries the gifts that heal the Feminine, and the Feminine does the same for the Masculine.
“Thank you Jack, I give myself to you every day forever and for always.”
Peace & Sparkles,
Yes I use the word counterfeit because I just read an article that said my wife and I have a counterfeit family. Well that is what a certain organization says anyway.
made in exact imitation of something valuable or important with the intention to deceive or defraud.
I read this last night and I’ve been in deep thought about it with several different emotions. My first emotion was shock and then I had a lot of ugly emotions pop up that I refuse to dance with. That being said, I have an opportunity to speak up and call this NOT TRUE!
Suzi and I have a very “Real” family and life. We have six successful children and in-laws, and our first grand-baby on the way. We run a thriving coaching business and we pay our taxes. We spend our lives sharing a message of hope, healing, love and abundance. Our intention is to love our fellow people and accept others differences even if those differences are something we choose not to live in. There really is no room for judgment as we are all living from what we believe and understand because of our personal life experience. This is the process of life and it is beautiful.
When a human being falls in love with another human being and they choose to build a life and family unit together, I call that love. I respect that there are those that would not choose to live the life that I live and I honor that. But calling my family counterfeit comes from nothing but pure ignorance and illusion.
The one thing I know for sure is that love is the only thing on this planet that is “Real.” I feel God in every movement of love.
My heart feels saddened because many family members that I love are part of this organization, and I can only imagine the distress they may feel hearing this comment and trying to reconcile their love for my soon-to-be legal spouse, myself, our children, and grandchildren. What deep conflict must be happening through many, many, many people.
There will come a day when there’s only peace and love on this planet, and there will come a day when there will be no more pitting families against each other. And what a grand and glorious day that will be.