I don’t know about you but the last time I found myself in a position needing to apologize (which was just this morning…but more on that in a minute) I was saying “I’m sorry….BUT.”
Needless to say, my BUT got in the way.
Does your BUT ever get in the way?
As a quick reminder from me (the DM – dominant masculine), we have a million and one reasons why we do everything and anything.
When it comes to owning up to our own s***, and saying sorry, we get a little pig-headed sometimes.
“I’m sorry, BUT…” is translated as, “I don’t really care about your feelings I just want to PROVE why I’m not responsible for my poor behavior or making you feel worse.
I know that you (the DF – dominant feminine) may get tired of hearing the apologies but at the same time it really does matter because when there’s an apology without an excuse attached, it actually gives you hope that there’s some care and concern for your feelings.
Back to my morning snafu.
Tiff and I were having a conversation when Tiff mentioned she didn’t know what I thought about something that I’d been sharing with her and instead of me clarifying, I said, “I already told you, but I’ll tell you again, because you didn’t hear me.”
What I was really saying was, “you don’t listen to me and so I will do you a ‘favor’ and say it again.” (Damn rude!)
Now mind you, I had a million-and-one excuses for my accusatory comment but suffice it to say, me just saying, “I’m sorry for saying that the way I did, it’ not my intention to make you feel bad but I realize that’s exactly what I did with my thoughtless comment, please forgive me.”
A little food for thought.
Everyone does stupid stuff sometimes. There’s no getting around that.
Remember, when you’re apologizing (whether you are the DM or the DF) leave the BUTS out of it.
It makes all the difference.
P.S. How does it make you feel when your SO (significant other) apologizes without any excuses? I’d love to know.
P.P.S. Also if you haven’t taken the quiz already to determine whether you think more like a masculine or more like a feminine, take the quiz right here: