You probably have a pretty good idea of what someone acting butt-hurt looks like, but today I’m going to paint the picture especially for you.
Being the masculine half of the Tiff & Jack duo, I have firsthand experience with being butt-hurt.
I know when Tiff says to me, “Can I share something,” my ego is in trouble, which of course is the precursor to the infamous butt-hurt moments.
I hate acting butt-hurt, it’s a damn pain in the ass. My ego gets all up-in-arms wanting to prove why “I’m right, and they’re wrong.”
May I get even a bit more personal with you?
The other morning I had showered, eaten breakfast, taken the dog for a walk, kissed Tiff’s sweet lips, and headed out the door ready for a great day of building our website and working on our online relationship program.
I had just dropped our son off at school and was getting ready to drive to the office, happy about getting such an early start, when the infamous *ding ding* chimed on my iPhone, I look down and see Tiffany’s name and instantly I realized I had dropped the ball.
Oh, it gets worse!
The day before I had lovingly told Tiff I would get the dinner dishes done, and pick up some coconut milk in the morning after I dropped Anders off at school.
Guess what . . . I forgot both things! Shit!! I was in trouble and I had no excuse, but believe you me, I searched until I thought I had found a really great “reason” that I had not kept my word.
My text to her:
I’m in a state of huge amounts of thought and energy with everything going on, business, and getting emails out. I am coming home to do the dishes right now. I’m sorry.
Her text to me:
Sorry doesn’t cut it, I need to know that I can count on what you say you’ll do. If you aren’t really planning on it, don’t offer. This makes me feel like you don’t really appreciate me or care about my feelings. I honestly feel like work is your priority and I’m not, and that doesn’t work for me.
Adrenaline gushed through my guts.
I drove home . . . pissed as hell, and did the dishes, with a chip the size of Texas on my shoulder.
Butt-hurt all the way!
Who was I pissed at?
Was it Tiff for being clear about how she struggled to trust what I say when I don’t follow through?
Or was I pissed at myself because I hadn’t followed through, and the precious feelings of my feminine peach were caught in the crosshairs of my ignoramus ways?
The harder I tried to prove myself innocent, the more butt-hurt I got.
I couldn’t come up with 1 damn thing as to why it wasn’t my fault.
I said I would do those things and I didn’t. It was as simple as that.
I do understand that you, the feminine, need to be able to count on your masculine partner to do what they say they’ll do. Hence, your feelings are cherished.
What is the #1 way your feelings are cherished? (If you will be so kind as to share right below this post, all of everyone else will be so happy to hear from you.)
When your feelings are cherished by your masculine partner, your trust grows, allowing you to be more vulnerable and open to receiving what the masculine wants so badly to give you.
It took me about half a day to unravel my butt-hurt and get back to center.
My take-away: Be Impeccable!
And if you make a mistake, apologize, but even more importantly get your actions in alignment with your priorities, and STOP the excuses.
Excuses do nothing more than emasculate you, and turn your feminine partner away in disgust.
I want Tiff to know that I adore her and the fastest and easiest way to do that is by doing what I say I’m going to do.
I could hit the million dollar gross revenue mark and if I forget the milk, I have missed the whole effing boat.
Life is about love.
Love is about connection.
And connection is all about me cherishing the feelings of my beloved.
Oh, and don’t forget the godamned milk!
It makes ALL the difference.
Hope to see you in the comments below, because I want to know all about your feelings and how you feel cherished.
Yours,
Jack
Reading this is like listening to myself. However, my partner and I are trying to run a business together. I work away from home while she manages the day/day biz of the biz. Now, most of the time am the one who calls coz its kinda expensive for her to call me due to cross country call-charges. We talk more about work and coz its mostly hard on her, she gets sore very easily. Am trying to talk about us this days and its not working! she still talks work and this hurts me. I end up apologizing most of the time. we’r both 40 and i always feel we should be doing better at sorting our misunderstandings, but its never the case. I do miss her, but the spark doesn’t always light up. What should i do?
Hi Pauline! My suggestion is that you two take our Quiz and after you will get 5 free teaching videos that will assist you in your relationship right now. Here is to love!
Pauline, we definitely understand the nuances of being lovers and business partners. As Tiff shared, the first step for each of you it to understand your personal dominant type, whether it’s DF or DM, and after that keep reading and reaching out. We love talking about relationship solutions. In fact, it’s our delight to show you how to have a relationship filled with connection and passion by helping you to feel celebrated through the art of self-awareness, real-time relationship education, and daily fine-tunement of your fears and emotions. We talk about this stuff every single chance we get because we live it, LOVE it, and want more of it…for us and for YOU!